Iranian Teacher XP

Iron&Metal

2010-11-03T10:20:00.001-06:00

Nowadays, the only thing that grows is iron&metal!

Inspired by"HD Suisse Channel"

MS.Divisive

2010-10-14T10:21:00.003-06:00

We all live in a two floor apartment. She owns the apartment above us. She is a very religious widower and all the neighbors talk about how religious she is. This Year, God invited her to His Holy place in Mecca. She also was invited by Imam Reza to His Holy Shrine several times this year.

The only thing she does and thinks won’t hurt anyone’s feelings is the inappropriate way of treating the guy who lives downstairs!

Oh,God:"Religion sucks!"

2010-09-18T13:49:00.003-06:00

With all the appreciation I have for this world,

Most of the time I feel like:

"Fuck this world!"

Prophets& Directors

2007-08-17T15:35:00.000-06:00

“No art passes our conscience in the way film does, and goes directly to our feelings, deep down into the dark rooms of our souls.” Ingmar Bergman

Prophets and movie makers sure have a lot to share with us which make them each other’s alter ego so to speak!
First, prophets have their holy books; The movie makers have their movies as their books.
Second, a prophet’s miracle differs from another ranging from making the dead alive or opening the Nile River by a stick; the movie maker has his first and only movie as his masterpiece.
Third: While reading a holy book, one has to go through some traditions like washing hands and face and to be in a quiet place preferably, a dark room to absorb things he reads; while watching a movie you have to sit in a quiet, dark, place to suck up every thing!

There is one difference between these two:
One can find a FEMALE movie maker but not a female PROPHET! I haven’t heard of any, do you?;)

Odyssey 2007& Kismet

2007-05-22T10:38:00.000-06:00

Who would have thunk it? Finally, I bought my "dream" house but, at a PRICE. I have grown up a little more. I have learnt a lot. I have seen a lot. Now, I can say that" I have been there!" I saw lots of different people with lots of bizarre behaviors.
The prices have been sky rocketed because of Mr.Asshole's economic policies. If he ever wants to run for a second term I might vote his opponent, regardless of who he might be however, as I often see the dark side of the things, things won't be very different then too.
From now on, I believe in Kismet. Not the kind of Kismet which says everything has prewritten and you are doomed to do that but, the new kind that says" Start walking and you will get to the destination too" if you get what I mean.
The story goes like this:
I was hesitant between two choices.I had been in contact with a guy (Mr A)who wanted to sell his house but he seemed hesitant in selling his house as it was really risky to sell one's house and then start buying a new one just because of the unstable economy that changes every other day. People just don't risk. It may sound crazy to you all but; me sold my house first and asked the buyer to give me 2 months and then started looking for a house! I have learnt my lesson now:" Buy a house first then, sell your house." That guy resigned selling his house to me and apologized doing so. He had promised to sell his house to me but refused to do so after one week.
Those moments were one of my worst moments of life.

There was another house which we wanted to buy but didn't know what to do because of the promise of that mentioned guy. Everything seemed fine till we went to the realtor and asked him to talk Mr.B into selling his house to us. We put some money to make him sure about our decision. The realtor called me in the following morning and said that Mr.B is supposed to go to another real estate agency and has made an appointment at 7 with someone. It is usual to advertise your house in different places.
"Holy cow! I am shit out of luck, there are people who if fall in a bucket of shit come up smelling the roses but what about poor me?
These thoughts rushed into my head as he was saying those disappointing words. What should have I done? Just imagine the number of agencies we have been to; more than 60 ones! I swear to God that I mean it! Imagine the number of cells martyred on the process of buying it.
I had given a hard time to my wife because of my stressful condition. We had had a couple of quarrels and didn't know what to do! My dad had supported me enough by helping me buying this house so what other expectations should have I had?"

I hung up and went deep down in my thoughts. To get rid of this world, I put on my headphone and started watching" Finding Nemo" which is one of the best cartoons of all times. One reason is that the whole story is presented underwater and I love water, river, sea, oceans.I felt a little better but, the PROBLEM was there staring at us.
It was six PM and I thought to go to the real estate agency and get my money back. The house was going to be sold at 7PM in another real estate agncy.We went there but Mr. realtor wasn't there. We waited there for about two hours and he finally showed up. Mr. Realtor who seemed like a nice guy called Mr.B's house. No Mr.B at home so, he called his cell phone and after a short while Mr.B was there. Surprise? Ha?
We signed an agreement and I bought his house. Now listen to Mr.B's story:
"I went to the other real estate agency and made an agreement higher that YOUR price but, the old man who wanted to buy my house started a quarrel with his son- in- low who disagreed with him buying that house. They started talking loudly in the agency when I told them that I would be there AFTER your quarrel is over." He showed up in the agency where III was. Period!
I call it a miracle; what do YOU call it?

Thank you for your Prayes:)

A Real Estate Agent

2007-05-19T14:32:00.001-06:00

What do you think of a real estate agent?
These guys don't have a straight intestine in their stomach as we say in Persian. They are the most two faced guys one can find in Iran. I myself went to the seller's house when I first was introduced by the agency and did everything by myself to persuade the seller in terms of buying his house.
This Mr. agent tries to put on an Islamic face by reading Arabic verses and wants to pretend that they are there just for the sake of God.
"We are here to help people have their own house for the sake of God"
Somebody told me once that" a mum never has sex with dad for free" In Persian we have a more polite proverb that says:" A cat never catches a mouse for the sake of God."
These stresses, nightmare has intensified my ulcer and a constant worry over things. I hate to wait to get a yes or no answer from someone just like my poor wife.
Fuck! If I had more money I could have better choices and could find the "decent" house sooner with less stress.
Don't stop your prayers for me, please!

Up and Down Like a Bride’s Nightie

2007-05-09T12:30:00.000-06:00

After all those battles,stressful,hypersensetive situations,calls and visiting people I managed to sell my house.I sometimes saw nightmares on how I was ripped off with no place to live.I wish I were in the mood of writing about all those talks,challenges,"fights" I had with the buyers.That's such a relief!
Oh oh oh,The second more important battle is yet to come which is finding the "right" house to buy. We (my wife and I) have been looking for the right house one month ago with no happy ending results. After my day was over we started looking the whole area upside down to find something suitable. Now with more vigor and energy I am on the way to go...
So far, we have visited more than 20 hoses and apartments but none of them came close to our criteria!
We very picky? Yup,we are. so what?
PlEASE, say a little prayer as you finish reading this post for me so that I could find a good hose or an apartment.
Thank you all :)

300

2007-04-18T10:24:00.000-06:00

Finally one of my students brought me the pirated movie 300 and I watched the movie right after my class in the evening. What I am going to tell you about the movie are my first reactions, thoughts, images erupting as I was watching the movie. So, cool down and hold on your horses:
Because, I had read a lot of "negative" reviews about 300,I couldn't embrace the movie like I do in my usual, normal conditions and I watched the movie after a long tiring day and all these hand in hand made me see the movie more "objectively" than" subjectively." Right from the beginning the word Persian used by King Leonidas made me not have any sympathy with the Spartans at all! Even in some parts I wished to be part of the Xerxes's army to kill the Spartans to their last ones!
You don't need to remind me that "wake up! This is only a movie and nothing more" as I always say this to my students jokingly after watching a movie especially if that is a marshal art movie so that they stop "beating up" each other after the movie. Speaking of marshal arts...this movie had a lot in common with 2 movies I had seen already.
1. Gladiator [I DO adore this movie]
2. No retreat, No surrender
The "bravery" of the Spartan really impressed me and reminded me of those Irani_Iraqi based movies in which an Iranian (Persian) was like Achilles and almost immortal as the Spartan soldiers were.
Very funny indeed!
If this movie had been made five years ago, the Persians could have been replaced by Iraqis on the spot!
Last but not least, I heard some part of Mission Impossible music in the movie exactly before the rhino attack.
Persians could have been pictured more cute and human than what Zack Snyder presented in the movie because you look "MORE" victorious when your rival is made of flesh and is someone like you are!

King Leonidas had been pictured as Jesus in his last close ups with lots of arrows in his body to show how innocent he was while he was killed by "barbarian" Persians.

Shit out of ten is my score to the movie except the graphics which was out of this world!

The Hunter&The "hunt-ee"

2007-04-08T05:14:00.000-06:00

Thanks to our "Great" president these Britons felt humiliation as we did when their government toppled down Mohammed Mossadegh's fresh,blossomed government in 1953.If you aren’t afraid of the Gospel Truth and would be thrilled to get to know the tit for tat story click Here

300&the Britons

2007-04-05T15:38:00.000-06:00

Who would have thought of this?
I entered the class as usual with no business like posture which I usually do while getting into the class and right there one of them devils shouted mockingly and loudly: "STAND UP" I asked him to come to the board and asked him not to shout or behave like an asshole anymore and he nodded his head as a yes sign.
Mr.Fanki?"You promised taking us to the video room and …
"All right! I am still loyal to it."
"Please! Let's go there now! Ali has 300 on a DVD and it would be fun!"
Right there something happened and made the whole class LOL;that was when I lost my control and took that student's collar by hand and pushed him out of my class; his glasses broke into pieces. I was shaking my self. I couldn’t believe that myself. I went mad for a moment and it was a bit late to know that! Crying over the spilled milk? Yes and no!

Stop thinking how brutal I am! You could have done the same thing if you were me! I had talked to that student a thousands times and his parents as well but in vain! If you teach 60 hours a week, you might go nuts in a moment too as I did.

His mother was at school a couple of hours later. We didn’t greet each us at all. She even didn’t look at me while we were in the principal’s room .She was angry as hell. I told her about the whole incident and I apologized for being tough to her son and she bla bla blaed and I did too. Finally, she also apologized for being loud too!"
The principal talked to me first and when I accepted my fault, he also asked her not to spoil his child by giving him a lot of freedom at home:
"Every one of us makes mistakes and even you might punish your son because of a bad behavior, don't you? So, this happened for Mr.Franki too!"

"Yes, I agree."
I will never forget the movie 300 because of this. Yes, I know! I should have acted more wisely!

Now, on the freed Britons…

What eats me the most after hearing the release of Britons was the fact that Mr.(Don't waste your energy pronouncing his name, he isn't worth it) was carefree about the teachers who were beaten and insulted by their thugs in times of Iranian teacher’s protests while, "Dear" Britons were treated with outmost respect and care here. They sure are a bunch of ****!!!(Any taboo words fit here)
Mr. A announced that" the captives were being released as a "gift" honoring both the Easter holiday and Muslim celebrations commemorating the birth of the Prophet Muhammad."
Holy crap! God forbid! I am sure if Muhammad is given another life to be here, he won't have a second chance to live his life fully!
No Ruling Crown would be given to him or commemorating his birth. The truth is that Muhammad is a tool for them to send a message to our Sunni "brethrens" the message of unity in case of a US attack. At the same time, he "honors" Easter to buy himself and his regime a kind of "prestige". At lease this time they saved face by freeing them at the "right" time. Halleluiah…Halleluiah… Halleluiah…

April Fool's Day

2007-04-02T11:08:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I read a horrifying news about the possibility of US attacking Iran in the next 24 hours but when I was directed to the next page to read the rest of the story I understood that yesterday was April Fool's Day; of course we don't have this holiday in our calendar but we sure have something quite similar (Doroughe sizdah ) which a Dorough(lie) is told on the sizdah(13th )of Nowrooz:)
During my 2 weeks holiday which will be over today we visited friends and relatives here and there and I more or less enjoyed my vacation. I also watched 2 great American movies which I DO recommended everyone to see if you haven't already:
1.Cars
2.Koyaanisqatsi

Koyaanisqatsi was out of this world. A stunningly beautiful movie. The music by Phillip Glass is a work of pure genius. I can watch this movie again and again. The final sequence of the hobi legend's judgment where the container falls from the sky is just unbelievable. How was it filmed? It's so amazing. I just couldn't help crying there; there was a religious tone to that astonishing part which took you to a heavenly Baptism ceremony. To me It was far much better that "Apocalypse Now" which sums up why our current "civilization" might be heading for destruction. Moreover, Koyaanisquatsi "defamiliarizes" the world and humanity allowing the viewer to have birds-eye view. In other words, we learn so much about our own life and life in general. Is mankind nothing more than ants? Why are we moving so fast? Towards what goal? Long before this men rested at nights and worked during the day and nowadays?

nights&days have become one!? What is our relation with ourselves, nature and other people and animals?
Out of luck we are! Today (13th of Nowrooz) was a hellof a rainy day that we preferred to stay in than out and get wet.

Very Far,Yet,Very Close

2007-03-30T04:12:00.000-06:00

There are three phenomena which have the above mentioned characteristics :( Very far, Yet, Very close)
God, Death&Happiness.

I was looking for the life cycle of USB flash memories when I was bombarded with these thoughts:

Everything_ if you look at it closely_ you buy has a life cycle, even things that can't be bought form stores like your mind and thoughts; at every age our thoughts seek to satisfy the needs related to that age. We are in constant need to need!
Maybe it's our mentality as Immanuel Kant (1724-1804) puts it that we can't imagine anything better than this.

Continuous joy,
Continuous pain,
Lasting happiness?...
Were we all born to live a life like this?
Isn't there a better meaning for life? I want more...

300 An Unethical Movie

2007-03-12T06:47:00.000-06:00

Say NO to it here: 300 Movie

Thank you EI

2007-03-11T09:05:00.000-06:00

Finally,EI showed its sympathy with Iranian teachers.

Thank you.
You can read it here.

D_Day

2007-03-07T04:39:00.000-06:00

I am really angry with every so called "Democratic" media in the whole world. The reason is quite clear:
Who has been covering the news of teacher's strikes in the last couple of days and weeks?
Who has ever supported their movements so far?
Which "famous" newspaper NYTimes, Washingtonpost... has ever written a sentence about this?
Who cares? Who knows?
For America and Europe WE (Iran) is a huge tank of oil which must be squeezed and consumed to its last drop. They see us as a hot pussycat which must be fucked over and over until its days are numbered. Don't they!

Here, the so called Islamic Republic TV hasn't given a fuck about our strikes on TV; Not a single word is mentioned about this on TV! One of my coworkers says that" If a Palestinian farts in Gaza Strip, it will be given a big coverage in our TV but, when it comes to teachers we are ignored by our government totally. Alas...

Yesterday, I went to Baharestan Square to shout my share of protest. There were about 5000 teachers there who were chanting antigovernment slogans like:

Forget about Palestine, think about US teachers,
Such a good for nothing Majlis, haven't we ever had,
Shame on you, the one who only claims to bring justice,

I took those above photos with my own camera.
Here is the Clip I took with my camera:(You need Real Player to see it)
http://rapidshare.com/files/19825790/Iranian_Teacher_s_New_Strikes.mov.html

Teacher's Strike

2007-03-03T11:02:00.000-06:00

There is a special news program called: 8:30 which sees itself a "revolutionary" kind of news program which "challenges" famous people and politicians,... but, its absence and the instinct conservatism of Iranian TV programs has been made fun of by that plaque" Where the hell are you,8:30?"

We stayed in the teacher's lounge as a protest to government policies toward teachers but, I didn’t see any program related to teacher's nation wide strike! That’s called censor, right?

Iranian teachers gathered together to protest to the injustice.
The injustice to their low payments,
The injustice to their low social status, (no money, no status)
Teachers aren’t poor creatures. We don’t want your f***ing sympathy.
We are ignored by the mass media. You never see these photos in our "Islamic" TV.

We stayed in the teacher's lounge as a protest to government policies toward teachers but, I didn’t see any program related to teacher's nation wide strike! That’s called censor, right?

Please pass this to everyone you know and if possible link this to other sites.

Nuclear Energy Music

2007-02-23T02:06:00.000-06:00

Some unknown artist(s) are paid (I suppose) to sing nuclear energy song(s).Rap and these sorts of music are banned on an Islamic Republic TV so, it attracts a lot of youth. If you know Farsi and a fan of music, especially Nuclear Energy Music fan, Click here Nuclear Energy and select number 3(Nuclear Energy)

If you don't know Persian I translate some parts for you to get the message:

Nuclear energy is our definite right,
We are brave, honorable people that defend our land Iran,
Iran, you mean everything to me,
What's wrong with you America?
Come to our land if you dare,
We will give you a good lesson you never forget,
You are some bunch of Cowboys,
Lets (every Iranian) get rid of the Devil,
We don't care what happens to us tomorrow...

Instead of developing a mutual diplomacy between two nations [I wouldn't know how. I am not a Politician] these sorts of music provoke the Iranian youth to go to war with the US.

At the same time you hear that there (in the US) clips are made to show how "dangerous" Iran is to America and the whole world. And If Iran isn’t stopped from developing nuclear energy we (American citizens) are doomed to die tragically by an Iranian bomb.

Let's think positive and hope for the better!

Autonomous Decision

2007-02-21T10:00:00.000-06:00

Part 1:

What's the worst thing about one's manhood?

THE fucking responsibility!

What's the best thing about one's childhood?

THE good old irresponsibility!

The commonality?
It's in the cost of the toys you get throughout your life :)

Part 2:

I changed one of class rules which said "In case you aren't allowed to go to the restroom by the teacher, you can't leave the classroom."
The new rule says:
"You are allowed to leave the classroom with no permission from the teacher as long as you don't tale advantage of teacher's "kindness".

The reason I changed the rule was on the one hand, to give more autonomy to my students so they feel more at ease in my class and on the other hand to behave better!

I have to wait and see how much it works!
As the new rule was mentioned I saw one of them leaving the class as he was smiling!

Teacher’s Strike

2007-02-20T08:19:00.000-06:00

WE Iran’s huge community of teachers are on a 2 day strike once again to protest officials indifference towards our most basic and urgent demand that is the postponed! which is the adjustment of our status with other government employees.

"Not only the government has not paid any attention to our years-long complaints , they have turned us into one of the poorest social classes in a so called "Islamic Republic" with less than 300 US Dollars a month,we receive one of the lowest wages among the State’s employees"

We stayed in the teachers launge and refused to attend the classes.When asked why someone who has the leaset education(A Diploma) in the Minstry of Petrolium get five times more than some one who has an M.A. they come up with the reason that "them wok" is tied with the oil pipelines while ours isnt.

Once again we will give them a shock so, they forget the yellow cake and start thinking about us!

Life Pulse

2007-02-14T09:41:00.000-06:00

Sometimes the only thing that reminds me of my being alive is the vibrator of my cellphone.
Take my advice:
Turn it on!

Speed,Sex &Religion

2007-02-11T04:34:00.000-06:00

I asked Babak to hand over his cellular phone to me as he was playing with his phone in the middle of my teaching.

I became aware of three things:
1. A Lamborghini car video in Tehran streets.
2. A semi porno video clip.
3. A religious one related to Moharam.

Speed, sex, and religion are spread all over today's youth!

+
The teacher's snoopiness ;)

No Comment

2007-02-07T09:56:00.000-06:00

First,
I have to say that my previous post (the photo) was taken with my cell phone in my class when I entered the class before the students so, it's not something fake or something that I "grabbed" from the net.

Second,
I read somewhere on the net that a mother in France was punished 1500_2000 $ because she had talked improperly with her son's teacher at school and it was because of the son lateness to school.
Yesterday Ali's cousin had given a punch to one of the teachers in our school because the "guilty" teacher had punished the student corporally.Ali had talked to his cousin about this and his cousin had gotten furious and had a fight with the teacher at school. They were supposed to go to the court but things were settled down with a kiss, some candies and the apology of Ali's cousin in front of the students.

Third,
In the last minutes before the class ends and while the students were writing things in their notebooks quietly, Hamid (the Devil) who is one of my "best" students came to me and gave me a strange pen and asked if I could give him an autograph. I had sort of a painful experience with one of these electric pens when I had taken a pen like that from one of my colleagues and tried to push the tip to start writing. There, I suddenly had thrown away the pen with a scream and every one laughed at the scene and that was no big deal as they all were my coworkers. Now, the devil wanted to do the same prank joke on his TEACHER.I took the pen and all of a sudden, took his left hand by force and pushed the tip of the pen on the back of his left hand.Hamid started screaming while others were laughing out loud. His prank backfired. Now I think my previous painful wasn't that bad after all. I showed them all that I have been there.

Fourth,
I was in one of those taxies on the back where there was a girl next to me whose cellular phone was on nonstop. I am not that big (6.5 foot, 200 pounds) and I tried hard to sit decently and the girl next to me tried to avoid being "touched". It was one of those turns in the street when she turned to me and said" go over there a little more." I told her that I can't move and what the hell you were talking about..."
He called me an Afghani and I got angry and told him that Afghani was herself and her whole family. I didn’t want to use the word Afghani but couldn’t help to.We Iranians are a bit racist as you might know but who isn’t?

Blackboard Giraffiti, By Teens

2007-01-09T07:45:00.000-06:00

Well Done

2006-12-15T13:17:00.000-06:00

I have always wanted to be a movie director and if there were a theme I wanted to make a movie based on it that would be redemption like what I have read about "Bad Lieutenant" but unfortunately, I haven't found the movie to watch.

While I was watching "Transit Cafe" By Kambouzia Partovi I thought to my self if there were a famed director who could show the average city life of an Iranian with no exaggeration. The movies screened in other countries are those which are either too dark or too light.(Ya Az Invare Boom Ya Az Ounvar)
What does an average foreigner think when he/she sees "Transit Cafe?" Do all Iranian women wear Chadors? Do all people believe in those superstitions screened in the movie? The woman in the movie is prohibited of having her own Cafe but here I see (though a few) women who are both taxi drivers and bus drivers! Why not making a movie based on their lives?
One of the main reasons I have opened this weblog is to open another window to the eyes of the world about my country and myself.
When an athlete does a wonderful job like what our wrestlers did in Doha 2006 Olympic Games, I thought how their winning the match could change the view points of other viewers about Iran and Iranians.
When a movie becomes one of the nominees in a foreign festival, Once again I think of the changes it could make in the eyes of a an American, European, etc...

With this weblog that has an average 30_40 viewer a day, I can't go too far but, if I could change a thing very little, I think someone should pat on my back and says" Well done boy!"

Not to Vote

2006-12-15T00:16:00.000-06:00

Target the most populated areas; Play with our emotions through posters and mushy words; mushy songs and the fucking mass killer media. Try to buy my vote by free Internet Cards.Yes,"WE every single one of us are the bricks of this mansion." as Haddad Adel (Injustice) put it. You want me to be one of those bricks so that you could dwell in this cozy place?
I am not that stupid to vote!

Iranians minds are distracted,
Lots of installs and uninstalls,
Lots of formats,
These all have made our hard drives us all grumble,
Defragmentation is a must!

Babak is one of those cute little devils that might not catch someone's attention in the first time. Today he was sitting quietly in his seat sadly crying silently.

"What's wrong, Babak?"
"Nothing."
"You sure?"
"Oh,well... sobbing... this.... there is this classmate of mine Mohsen who has called my father names...I don't want to make any trouble for him ...but...this has been pestering me a lot from then on..."
"I will talk to him about this!"

He was relieved a bit and started taking his exam.

When the bell rang, I asked them both to stay after the class.

Mohsen: Before you punish me mister I have to say that I didn't call names or things like that...

Babak: He calls me names in Kurdish and the other students would use his words against me when they want to make fun of me!"

Mohsen: "I swear to God that I didn't mean HIM!"

Babak: "My parents are away to Mecca for a week and I have missed them a lot."

Now my penny dropped. Now I knew that the lack of being with his parents has made my student so hyper sensitive about anything related to his mom and dad!

I settled things down and they both left the class wearing smile. My breakfast was almost over and I only had time to drink a cup of tea!

Help Others,You Might Be Helped Back!

2006-11-30T09:47:00.000-06:00

A couple of students had been picked up for Math Olympiad Exam by their teacher. I wasn’t their math teacher of course! I just pointed out that if they want to step up the Exam ladder they have no way but to seize every opportunity they get when I heard Muhammad's sobbing at the back of the classroom. I asked him to come to the floor and asked him about that. He said that his math ability was great and the reason that he hadn’t been picked up by their teacher for Olympiad Exam was that he wasn’t quite as ready in that day; he also brought me a newspaper that showed his name as one of the accepted students in the previous year.
I told him to go out and wash his face.When he was back to the class I promised him talking to his math teacher about this and maybe I could persuade him into introducing him as one of those" elite" students.
During the break time I went to the math teacher who is a good friend of me and told him the story. I also showed him the newspaper. He simply agreed with my request and his name went into the list.

(Break Time)
Reza is one of those students who never pay attention to me during the class time. He never writes or does anything in the classroom. There must be some problem there so; I thought to ask his parents to come to school …

"Reza has lots of difficulty to concentrate, have you noticed this already?"

(His mother)"Yes, He has been taking hyperactive drugs prescribed for him."

"You must take him to Psychiatrist or a Psychologist I think or you will regret it later."

I saw tears in her eyes. I noticed that there was something she was hiding from me but I refused to say anything…

Muhammad came into the parent's room where we could talk about students with the parents. I gave him the good news and told him that he should buy some candies for the following session too. I asked him to go to his math teacher and thank him too. Now he was flying in cloud nine!

This one is one of those books that every one with a little sense of humor enjoys.Funny inFarsi
Dont worry. Click;)

Street Girl

2006-11-16T08:39:00.000-06:00

The girls raised their hands to be picked up by the driver. They were wearing short Mantou with heavy make up while carrying some bags…

One of them who was about 35 started talking flirtingly to the driver if he could give them a ride to their destination!

The driver's friend was hesitant as to whether go with his friend or not. While the driver was flirting with the women he was thinking to "loyalty"
The genes and sperms were revolting while the spirit was struggling to win the battle of Flesh and Spirit like what he saw in "The Last Temptation of a Christ."
Her eyes were inviting and her voice was like the flow of water in a stream…

He asked his friend to pull over .He shook his hands; the hands that were supposed to touch their bodies and he got off the car.

His eyes went after the car while it was getting farther and farther…

He was still thinking to himself as to whether it was his "loyalty "or "fearfulness" that made him get off the car…

Virtue

2006-11-12T12:25:00.001-06:00

"The best thing about America, no one looks at you like you're so stupid. . . . You can ask the dumbest question, and they'll answer you with a smile."

Though I am very thoughtful and patient on answering my student's questions but sometimes when they turn into a pain in the ass by asking "dumb" questions I wind up to fury and ask them to stop it pronto!

Now, I got to try more to swallow this positive American aspect. Don't I?

Nosy

2006-11-11T10:36:00.000-06:00

What's the hot news these days in Iran?
The story of an actress who was believed to had had sex with her boyfriend while she was being filmed secretly…

You can hear the story from people of different ages with different backgrounds: educated, illiterate, you name it. You can find the porno movie everywhere. Every one talks about how "bitch" this girl is; but the majority has missed a couple of points:

Correct me if I am wrong, in Western countries you could see Movements and Reforms on sexuality so these kinds of stories don’t make a commotion in their society. In Iran, as this is considered to be a taboo thing on TV or the newspapers people (mostly men) want to have the illegal copy of the CD; the thirst for these things has "declined" in other words, the above mentioned actress has acted as the new Reform in our society. We moved ahead a step in sexual matters, now it's not that strange to see a night party of this and that soccer player or actress!

Today's School:
All the students (about 300 teenagers) were taken to the amphitheater to be given a lecture on how to behave at home. It was the most ridiculous speech that I have ever heard in my whole life. Read and then decide! (I took some notes as he was giving his speech)

"Try to get up early in the morning and don’t forget to say your prayers, it's so refreshing. After school while you are on the way home don’t go anywhere with your friends but home! Where you get home try to be neat and tidy, never ever throw your clothes on the ground. You will be reported by your parents then. [Would they ever believe such bullshits?] Study three hours a day any time you are in the mood. Go to bed at ten and so on and so forth..."

I did my best not to laugh while he was talking sometimes I couldn't. Now I understand why we "educators" make a habit for students to interfere into each other's affairs. In other words, WE make it part of their behavior.

Before the bell rings I started having a conversation about Chinese food culture and when I told them that they eat anything that has four legs one of them raised his hand and asked if they eat humans as well.

I told them that I could bring them the photo of a Chinese man who was eating a fetus to get more customers for his restaurant. They made all argh sounds as it was lunch time. I did get a thrill out of these sounds. Finally we came to this point that not to judge a lot of people by one…

Did I make a change? I hope I did:)

The Man Of God?

2006-10-18T04:33:00.001-06:00

The teachers were in the teachers lounge when the clergyman showed up. He was there to “educate” students on religious stuff. In his previous class I could hear student’s Salavat (literally it means peace be upon Muhammad and His followers, said loudly in public)
The only thought that popped into my mind was how the students were taking advantage of the clergyman through saying Salavat louder than usual to disrupt the class atmosphere.
Anyway, this man of God was sitting there quietly listening to other teacher’s chit chat. One of my colleagues happened to sit next to him unknowingly .All of a sudden, as a sign of hatred stood up and changed his seat.” The man of God was eavesdropping:

“Hey, Hamid! Is that YOUR class notebook?”

“Yup, how come?”
“It sure is big. How can it be put it in the bookcase?”[Referring to his dick as a standing joke]

The clergyman turned to other teachers and started telling a joke to our surprise:

“Once a guy asked another guy if it was possible to get married with one’s mother in law and the other guy answers back that I DID it (her) and you can do it too.”

Democracy Failure!

2006-10-15T09:03:00.000-06:00

When my students realized that their physical education class was replaced with MY class due to chaotic schedule of our school, the students started bitching about this; murmuring names and things.
In order to soothe the pain I devoted the class time to them and asked them to write a complaint letter to the principal. One of them started writing the letter and brought the letter to me to proofread it. After proofreading the letter I asked my students to put their signatures on the letter to make it as a “public” complaint; some of them were hesitant to do so as the shit might hit the fan and it may lead to their dismissal from school. After my encouragement they signed the letter and now it was time for someone brave to submit the letter to the principal .A couple of hands were raised and the students approved Muhammad to go talk to the principal and give the letter.

Class time was over and I went to the teachers lounge to rest. After the break on my way to the class I saw Muhammad and asked him what he went through and he went like this:

“When the letter was given to the principal with respect, he just looked at the letter without reading it thoroughly and told me that it was THEIR business to solve these problems.”

School Orientation is the “motto” of ministry of education these days but like many other things you only see the “rules” on the paper and no practical version is shown! Alas!

Ramadan

2006-10-09T13:01:00.000-06:00

Oh, Ramadan! There is one thing I hate about Ramadan,
Try to imagine what I am telling you now:You get up at 5 in the morning (You went to sleep at about 12 last night) and get ready to have Sahari (call it a meal of a day), rice, chicken, yogurt, vegetables,...
After Sahari you start praying and go to sleep before you get ready to go to work. Of course you could stay awake until you are ready to go to work but that lack of sleep is a bit of pressure on you. In my case (the worst part), I have this upchuck feeling in my stomach during the day with a feeling of hungriness. In case I miss to have one Ranitidine tablet to reduce gastric acid, I would go under a lot of jitters during the day.
Look! I teach and have to stand still from morning until evening and I feel some sort of dizziness in the evening before Iftar.I am sure if our prophet Muhammad were alive, He sure would give a different kind of Fatwa on fasting. I have to teach so I need to have my voice, you get thirsty and can't drink any water. When you back home from work you are a dead body to the T.In my case, I SHOULD go like this for 30 days! SHOULD because I don't follow the rules of Islam the way it is. I simply CAN'T! Last Ramadan I went Fasting for as about as 5 days.Period!Islam has this as well:” It isn't necessary to Fast for those elderly, sick, pregnant, too.”

What I loved about Ramadan and am trying to regain it once more is,
Not having anything for about 12 hours you get a kind of spiritual feeling before Azan which is unique in its own kind. I really don't know whether this is caused because of being hungriness or it's because of Faith!

Lie

2006-10-09T04:56:00.000-06:00

When a person lies, he/she said to tell a lie like a dog.
(In Persian)

What would one say when the Government lies?!

World Teachers’ Day

2006-10-04T12:44:00.000-06:00

Here I would like to say "More power to your elbow and mouth" to every hard working teacher throughout the world. Us teachers have one of the most noble professions in the world though our job is getting devalued by our governments policies. Quality teachers are critical for providing quality education. We make a tremendous contribution to sustainable development by building human foundation - developing a child’s capacity and desire to learn. UNESCO has provided financially the "Developing Countries" in providing the means so that all Iranian teachers know how to work with a computer. So far so good right?
No siree!
I am absolutely sure that UNESCO doesn’t have the slightest direct involvement and supervision in quality of teacher training in Iran. I don’t know about other countries but here the Computer Schools that accept this difficult task for the sake of God (Pun intended) do everything but quality teaching. What UNESCO is looking for is more and more statistics. Go to UNESCO and see it for yourself. Who is running this good for nothing so called organization? More Statistics, more budget? Ha? Smart alecks!

One of my colleagues who has passed Word,Excel,Power Point,Access has difficulty turning on the PC let alone knowing how to work with the above mentioned programs. The REAL story goes like this:

Because these so called Computer Schools have received loads of money to "educate" teachers their class time is in the worst times of the day 3-5 PM in the summer. They gave us a book and that book was taught without going deep. When I was taking my final test one of them helped us all answering the questions so that School face is saved and they receive more and more students. World Teachers’ Day isn’t recorded in our national calendar, why?
Because our voices might be heard as a result, out of sight, out of mind!

Are today's schools in Iran a welcoming inclusive place in which all are treated with dignity and every child has the opportunity to reach his or her full potential? I doubt it!
Today is an opportunity to celebrate teachers. The best celebration is the practical one where we show, 365 days a year, our appreciation and understanding of the noble and complex work teachers do by working for the best possible teaching and learning conditions. We can also decide to make today the day that each one of us says “Thank you” to at least one teacher.

9/11 Iranian Version

2006-09-30T09:49:00.000-06:00

Though it would be a fatal mistake to compare Americas 9/11 with Iran Iraq war but, there are similarities as well one can think of: Murders of innocent people (Not Martyrdom)

One of my life real stories begin like this:

Once upon a time, there was a twelve year old kid who was playing Alakdolak(A kind of Game) with his friend around the neighborhood. You could see the Sun sinking down in the sky. It was MY turn to move my bat to give the wooden piece a real hit when out of nowhere I heard sirens all over the place. I was taught to fall down as soon as possible in cases like this. I looked at the sky with eyes wide open in horror and disbelief!

What I was staring at was rather a nightmare than something real.

The Jet plane …Bombs dropping in a raw like the ones I had seen in World War 2...
I fell myself down on the ground to protect myself from the airwaves? Produced by the airplane. If the airplane was closer I am sure there was no Frank writing this post. (Kiss my ass goodbye)
I ran to the place where the bombs had been dropped to know what had happened. Out of luck, one of those bombs hadn’t been activated in a densely populated area or lots of innocent people had been killed there.

Lots of broken windows…Blood all over the place on the walls…Women's screaming… Crashed cars…

I know a war between America and Iran is unimaginable at the moment but let's hope these "negotiations" work with no final showdown. Amen!

PS: I do appreciate if you do Frank a favor by sending this to your friends so that others get to know what we ordinary Iranians are looking for ISNOT the end of the world (War) rather a peaceful life.

Classroom Management

2006-09-29T12:35:00.000-06:00

When I go into a class on the first day I take my authority granted with being moderate. (not being too aggressive or submissive)

Rules I ask my students to follow at the beginning of school year:

Rule number 1:" When I am teaching I want every cell of you to be with me; move and you will be finished."

Rule number 2:" When I ask Ali to answer my question I don’t to see Reza& Hamid&Babak&Javad &Mohammad's hands raised to answer Ali’s question."

Rule number 3:"If I see any one who starts putting his books away before the bell rings, he and if the whole class does this will be punished by writing extra homework."

Rule number 4:"Never ever eat or drink something covertly at the back! Ask me if you can and be sure that if I "recognize" that you had sort of a problem in the yard and couldn't eat or drink I will let you to go out."

Rule number 5:"If by any chance I see you doing you e.g. History homework in the classroom while I am teaching, your book and notebook would be thrown in the wastepaper basket."

Loser

2006-09-26T11:08:00.000-06:00

When I had the teeth, I didn’t have Anything to eat
When I lost the teeth, I had Everything to Eat!

What does a teacher do in Today's Iran?

2006-09-23T09:05:00.000-06:00

Teach?
Nope! You are totally wrong if you think teachers are thinking on how to improve their teaching methods or things like that.

Today was the first day and there were almost no classes because things hadn’t been preplanned as usual. The just sorted the classes out and then let them go home with no sense of achievement on their first day of school.

Back to my answer:

The physical education teachers have their own shop and sell things.
The Science teacher has his own taxi and is a taxi driver after school.
The Geography teacher is a real state agent after school.
The least but not the last surly is the English teacher who is a vendor and sells all kinds of stuff.

I dont have a second job yet but am thinking about it!

Please don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to nag about the lowest salaries which are paid to teachers now. What I meant by this post is to say:" How do those higher-ups really expect us teachers to teach with no worries where we have so many problems that will surely affect the students "education" as well?"

When our "dear" government doesn't give a fuck to education and teachers so I think to myself:" well, to hell with the students and their so called education!"

All above mentioned things aside,I try to do my best as long as I have the energy but until when?

Odyssey 2001

2006-08-31T04:39:00.000-06:00

Comparing our "modern" life with those Cavemen whose only living places were caves and jungles I can't help envying their visionary Look to their World around them. When I was a child I looked at the world with awe and bigness. Now due to my "maturity" I have lost that feeling entirely!
To make a nostalgic picture out of living in those periods would be a fatal mistake I don’t want to make intentionally. The thing I am talking about is THE look. As you become older those awesomeness and grandness is lost all due to our "civilized" world& our modernity. You think you have almost everything under control. Things change fast and lose their meanings in seconds even as I am writing this post!

In those good old days as you got up and started beating on your chest (this chest beating in the morning must be the result of those old habits die hard of our ancestors.) you saw the Sun, the animals with awesomeness and shock.

Now due to "civilization" things have become so cliché and routine that you don’t feel the grandness of life as Cavemen did.

Those good old days…

Peace

2006-08-22T02:40:00.000-06:00

Back to the city…The calmness, peacefulness, serenity, tranquility, quietness, noiselessness, stillness, muteness I felt was out of this world…
The Water, the River, the Greenness, and the Weather have all placed their tracks in every gray cell of my brain commanding me not to return home…
Three days with no TV, Radio, Internet connection, THE Traffic, the city people was a WOW in my life…
No worry, No stress, Nothing could have moved me …
Out there, you have your ordinary life with no fear of Atomic Bomb…
Now, I am awake after three days …Yes those three days was like a never ending dream but, it was ended…
After the injection, there was no pain and those three days were like painkillers but now, I am starting to feel the pain again…

The River part was the climax of my trip. In a deserted part where no other people were around except my own family I was my real self in the Water. Both of us (Water&me) were having fun. I was part of the Water. I was real close to myself. Water was God.
Floating in the water was like flying on a "Time Machine." I was a prophet then.

At night I could see the Stars in their real colors…lots of stars were blinking to me…

Crash

2006-08-15T14:17:00.000-06:00

This Arabization of Iranian National TV has made almost everyone MAD. Turn on any channels and you hear Arabic language which sings songs on victorious Hezbollah. Why should we ever swallow these bullshits?

Phase 2:

"It's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something."

I myself don’t miss that touch at all because; here you are touched all the time: in the taxis, in the buses, in the markets, in the streets etc…that I myself prefer to use a shortcut to get home. Being in densely populated areas makes me real sick. I don’t have any choice either; this kind of thing is like a saw caught in your ass halfway; either directions (upward&downward) it causes pain.

Crash is a movie which one can forget easily like the characters in the movie who are the ordinary people you see in the streets everyday. You don’t pay any attention to people passing by; that's why after watching the movie I didn’t think much about the movie rather, felt how the people in the movie felt in their predicaments. If you can ever relate to this movie in a way or another it means that "YOU" are a "racist" as well. Mr. Haggis showed us all how all people with different colors can be racists both visibly and invisibly. From an artistic point of view the movie is a masterpiece but in reality of my own life I still have a little or more than a little prejudice toward Arabs. I haven’t worked this out myself. I do apologize Mr. Paul Haggis because at the beginning of the movie I started calling names on the salesman who was talking to my countryman/woman.How easy it was to pass judgment while watching the movie.
A must see … 10/10

Human Achievement

2006-08-07T12:22:00.000-06:00

They say there are no heroes anymore. But they're there.
Walk down any street and you will find them.
The mothers& and fathers who work, the teachers who survive, the children who overcome.
They aren’t larger than life, but they are larger than their own lives.
Their names aren’t famous, but their virtues are.
Hard work. Common sense. An unshakable belief in themselves.
If you're looking for a hero, look around!

Good,Bad and the Ugly

2006-07-31T09:23:00.000-06:00

I just wanna tell you about my fourth day of on the road lessons, and then I might give you a taste of my third day which was totally different with the third one. Anyway, the fourth day was a disastrous day both in terms of my instruction and the quarrel I had with my instructor which made me almost cry invisibly about how I was treated that way. It sucked to the T.

This instructor of mine is a man of average 34 with blue eyes and about 6 feet tall, a kind of nervous looking guy on the first glance who smiles at you but, there seems to be a timed bomb inside him which can go boom every minute or so. His look makes him both lovely and explosive.
The first day, for a guy like me who had never been behind a steering wheel went quite smoothly with no tension between us.

The second and the third day I had a crush on my instructor. I am not gay don’t get me wrong. I am as straight as a ruler but my feeling really tricked me .I seldom ever feel so close to someone I have met for once or twice but, "he was different." I thought. I just had this feeling that I had found my alter ego, a kind of intimacy that makes you "believe" love at first sight stories.
I thought: "yeh! That’s the "right" instructor I was looking for."
The second day he bought me a drink of non alcoholic type. Anyway, on the third day I learnt a lot because we saw a punctured car near the curb and her driver, who was also an instructor, asked Hamid (my instructor) to change her car’s tire. There was a mini supermarket around and I thought: well," It’s my turn to buy him a drink and I did." On the way to the driving institute, because of the intimacy which had been brought by the closeness and THE drink, he just started talking about his family life and his 5 year old daughter. The drink must have been alcoholic though. After a short time, I got to know that he was divorced for five years and he had to take care of his 5 year old daughter. He was giving me advice on not to have any children because, he wasn’t able to afford a decent life for her daughter as he said so! He also had to work in 2 other driving institutes in order to make his ends met.

I really felt pity about his condition and thought" how many carefree relaxed people can you in the whole world? Every one has his/her own personal problems. I just asked God to help him out of this mess, if mess expresses the right word, of course!
I am a kind of funny guy when it comes to the "right" person. After the third day I still couldn't do a good parking behind the other parked car. (Don’t know the English word!) When he got angry because of my mistakes, he started talking nervously, with his voice raised on me while it was being accompanied with dagger looks at me. His manners doubled my nervousness and the whole concentration was fucked in seconds! We went to a quiet place to practice; there were other instructors with their students there. Hamid parked his car with 30 cm distance from the curb. I went behind the wheel and started the engine, the right light, and clutch, gear fourth and looked back…
Whenever I did something wrong, he went mad and when I told him that your nervousness makes me edgy too he kept quite silent for seconds without instructing me on what to do next. I know I know if you want look at the story from his point of view he says" this teacher is an asshole who donno shit about anything and I have to repeat my self several times so that his brain starts working."
On my first day he didn’t give me any information about the things in the car. I didn’t know that there are two lights in front of you which on is for the left and the other one is for the right. When he asked me why I used the wrong light I told him that I thought in order to move your car from a parking space you should push this gadget to the top."
"Can’t you see these two green lights in front of you? When the arrow shows the left, it’s time to turn left."

"Holy shit, you are giving me this info right now so how do you expect me to know things in advance? You took it for granted that I was born as a driver?"

"Hiss! Don’t say a word!"

There was Hamid’s friend (Ali) whose car was parked in front of our car. Ali started talking to me quietly on how to park my car while Hamid was sitting beside me in the car; I pointed to Ali with my fingers and meant to show my instructor to learn how to speak quietly. I knew my instructor was looking at me invisibly. I knew this already and with this on the back of my mind I smiled and pointed to Ali and said "yeah, that’s it! That’s the right behavior"

Hamid saw me doing this and thought I was making fun of him.

"If there are 2 assholes in the world, I am one them and YOU (and emphasis on you in a belittling manner, yelling) are making fun of me?

"Fuck! I didn’t mean to make fun of you! You are so hypersensitive!"

Fuck it all, fuck! I felt so bad inside. I was humiliated like the way my teachers did when I was a kid. I was on the verge of crying. But I refrained.

His nervousness and his behavior taught me a lot of things. Life is the best instructor .if you don’t learn a lesson that lesson will be repeated so much that you have to pay the prices to learn it finally.

1. Now, I know that I shouldn't have yelled at my students when they had difficulty learning things. I try and promise not to yell at any of them if they had difficulty learning. (Disruptive behavior is an exception!)

2. Don't get too friendly with whoever you THINK might be your alter ego. Do it and face the music too.

3. Last but not least, if you look friendly at first and yell while you are teaching your students, they will definitely take this as one of your Achilles' hill and you aren’t a good teacher after all.

He told me that he doesn’t like teachers because they just come to the class and teach for half an hour and lean on their seats for the rest of the time class. I understood a little about this hidden curriculum which was based on our shitty education. This guy, I imagine had been punished a lot by his teachers and now I think a little part of those inferiority complexes were being erupted by a teacher who is a student now. It's a sad, tragic, understandable story about a lot of students here. I my self hated almost all those teachers of mine in my elementary and secondary school (a few of them were extraordinary.) People normally don’t have a "positive" attitude toward teachers. I shouldn’t have told him about my job .It wasn’t a big deal after all.
I know I should both depend on my intuition and reasons while facing people. I just hope I can get along with him on the following days or I have to change my instructor which might not change things a lot.
I suppose.

On the way home he gave me a piece of religious advice," Look! I know you lost your concentration but if you breathed deeply and asked God to help you, you could have done a better job."

I smiled and said" It is you and your instruction manner that gives me confidence not God!"

Hamid:" I am a tool and God is the ultimate doer!"

Me:" You mean after these sessions God taught me how to "drive" a car?"

Hamid:" Yes, it’s him and me only a tool."

Me:" God should have thought and worked more while making this tool" I said inside me.

He brought the subject of religion up and I couldn't help arguing my beliefs on the subject. At the beginning of the day when my instructions starts he got off his car to say hi to his coworker and friend when I heard him say:" Today isn’t my day and I am fed up."

Fed up with what? I don’t know but, I should have taken that as a sign not to be too funny and friendly. I should have acted my usual business like manner but didn't and there I was.

I somehow "feel" how my instructor feels about things but I can’t agree with him and myself on somethings. I remember terrible times that I had in a class with a rude, disruptive student and that made me feel bad the whole day therefore, when I went to other classes to teach in the next hours I acted like a maniac and punished a student to relieve my own pain. I think it’s a defensive mechanism though it looked pretty violent. When you are unaware as when and where a bomb explodes it's your kismet that becomes your savior Or BANG! BANG, BANG!

If there is a parallel park he doesn’t give me chunk by chunk instruction rather talks_let alone doing it by himself for one or a second time_ for two minutes on the subject and expect a naïve beginner like me know how to do things perfectly, in a miraculous manner.

Unfortunately I always tend to exaggerate things and this story is no exception.Now I know that how a "bad" teacher can destroy a student’s self confidence. I learnt a lot from Hamid. I see him as a mirror who SOMETIMES reflects my own attitudes about teaching and my behavior toward students.

After all these writings I feel better a little.
PS: I went to my instructor an hour ago and things were settled down thoroughly. Now I really feel better!

Illusion

2006-07-27T05:16:00.000-06:00

Once in a while,
The Luck knocks at the door,
You go open the door,
And you close your eyes & embrace it wholeheartedly,
But when you open your eyes,
You see that it is a mirage!

Virtual Reality

2006-07-25T09:37:00.000-06:00

Almost every body knows that Internet is a functional device; that's quite axiomatic, isn't it? But, when I look at myself and remember those "good" old days when I didn’t know beans about computer, this sentence comes into my mind that:" Ignorance is a bliss."

My essence was a unified thing then; I felt things in ONE world; I lived in ONE world. Now, I think I have fallen into TWO pieces: one is the reality of my common and routine life and the other one is the virtual one. Let me give you an example:

Before I was introduced to PC and Internet, my world was small and I didn’t know much about how other people in other parts of the world live. A none of my business attitude ruled over me. I was happier and more carefree.

When I felt the need to upgrade myself into the new modern world; when I felt the humiliation of the above mentioned bliss in my class; when I couldn’t comment on anything computer related, that was when I decided to take the plunge and become what this new world asked me for! That wasn’t a win win situation, I dwelled into other worlds, felt the joy and sadness of other people, empathized with people, felt envious to see those who live in "better" worlds. However, I lost the unified part. I lived in different worlds. I had broken into pieces and I had to adapt myself to this new situation and I did but, at a price!

Help Wanted!

2006-07-23T12:00:00.000-06:00

While the clinic is full of patients waiting for their turn, I can't help but eavesdropping the women behind me:

"Poor Sarah, she was graduated, got her BA degree and now she is unemployed .She was accepted in her MA degree exam but I refused her to continue her study."

"Why?"
"I told her, well I told her suppose you get your MA degree? What comes next? Still unemployed!"

Why should we ever support and help the Arabs in THEIR war? Why should we ever become more catholic than Pope? While the Arab countries are scared to death to even murmur a word about Israeli _Lebanese war, why should we pay the price?

Day in day out you see a full coverage of the current war in Lebanon and you prefer to change the channel than listen to their crock of shit!

Charity begins at home! You (my government) want to help people? Help your own people first!

I know that in order to stay in power one has to provide help to those who might come in handy once. That explains The US support of Israelis as well as Iran's support of Hezbollah, doesn't it?

I agree with Mr.Slackman when he says:http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/23/world/middleeast/23iran.html?_r=1&hp&ex=1153713600&en13879b7a4eb29f1e&ei=5094&partner=homepage&oref=login

Thanks to Bill Gates I had my autosave Word activated otherwise because of a sudden blackout a couple of minutes ago I could have lost this post. Now who should help who?

Failure

2006-07-21T03:40:00.000-06:00

Shattered feelings… when you feel injustice within your flesh like the way Jesus felt those hits on His palm while he was being crucified … My God, my God why have you forsaken me?... You ARE qualified but, you are rejected… why? You feel those tear balls inside you…They are going to revolt but, they simply can't… It’s the end of the world…
Hatred is walking with me…All the "good" words lose their meanings…Justice falls into a bucket of shit…Oh,Angels! Go tell your God that I wasn't, am not, will not be your servant…

Happy Mothers Day

2006-07-16T03:47:00.000-06:00

I went out to buy something "special" for you. I turned the stores upside down to get something "unique!" I thought of everything one can think of but it seemed my mind had gone totally blank on the subject.

Virtually, I know you won’t be reading this but, what's the difference? At least others in other parts of the world get to know that I love you.

I was going to change the Shakespeare's sonnet, to make it something extraordinary but, the only word I could change was passionate instead of lovely!

Shall I compare thee to a hot summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed,
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course untrimmed:
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st,
Nor shall death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st,
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this and this gives life to thee.

Happy Mother's Day To All Mothers and Would be ones Throughout the World(

Ready,Set,Baby!

2006-07-15T04:23:00.000-06:00

What’s the point in having a baby? What makes the majority of people to endure this “unbearable” responsibility? Have you ever wondered?

Student:” A child is the sweetness of ones life!”

Socrates:” You call constant crying, waking up in midnight, putting your needs before your child and the awful smell of diaper sweetness?”

Student: “generation should go on&on!”

Socrates:” What’s the point in continuing this vicious circle when you deep down in your grave? Besides, isn’t 6 billion enough? ”

Student:” This comes from ones selfishness not to be able to put his/her need before his/her child; in that case your parents shouldn’t have thought of having you!”

Socrates:” I wasn’t invited to this world!”

Student:” To have a baby is a hobby.”

Socrates:” What a wasteful way to spend your time and money!”

Student:” Your child might “come in handy” when you are old!”

Socrates:” Look, who is talking about selfishness?”

Student:” A baby can give “meaning” to one’s life.”

Socrates:” I take my life’s “meaning” from other sources.”

The characters in this dialogue are imaginary. By the way, who can persuade Socrates into having a baby?

Iran

2006-07-11T02:20:00.000-06:00

Wanna get a window into Iranian life? Click here:
http://www.stanford.edu/group/psa/events/2004-05/ipap/life.pdf

Hope

2006-07-09T14:09:00.000-06:00

The mother cries nonstop, thinks nonstop about her sick daughter’s condition, prays all the time, goes to the “Holy” Shrines so perhaps, the Gods hear what she shouts, screams and wants. Her daughter is ALL she has; she has become like her daughter; her daughter is THE only world she has. She has done almost everything she could have.

What IS the answer?

The Gods are sitting there in the heavens, DRUNK, carefree to the poor mother’s condition; they are all deaf and dumb.

“Oh, mother! Forget about Gods! They can’t be depended on anymore. They all have lost their magnets, they can’t hear us anymore. The Gods are all dead; why so much persistence?”

“Oh,Son! Where else can I go? I was disappointed by the doctors!”

Insanity Club

2006-07-07T13:25:00.000-06:00

Finally,
I overcame all those “fears” to become a driver here in IRAN. Look! Driving in here is a bit different with what it is in the rest of the world and that’s why I accentuated on the word IRAN.I am happy to be a member of the” insanity club!” I think we need more insane people throughout the world .Are there any IM “Insane Movements” anywhere in the world? If not, how about establishing one? Just imagine that I can be its Founder and a “famous” figure. That would be a day!

My “beloved” country is number one in its death toll road accidents in the whole world. Beside nuclear energy, this is another achievement (Dastavard) one can be proud of!

We are a bit blind colored people, (no offense intended) I mean yellow, green and red are all the same both to drivers and pedestrians IF you are in a hurry and IF there is no Police around!

It’s a must to be an adept driver but, NOT enough! There are other things which should looked out once you are in the streets: Other drivers who may not be as “adept” as you are, people who might appear in front of your car out of nowhere, the puddles which are there to examine your car strength above all, You need to have Jacob’ patience to stand THE traffic. (THE has a lot to say)

I have this car crash phobia whenever I am in a taxi in the front seat! Am I going to endanger my family’s lives by becoming one? Is there going to be a dead body in the street while I am standing there shouting for help? There are these and other hairs raising bloody hallucinations give me cold feet.

I know that after a while I’ll get used to it, not yet!

There is also this stubborn feeling in me which has the final word on everything:
“If you want to get a job done, DO it by HOOK or CROOK!”

Psalm

2006-07-06T12:19:00.000-06:00

The Lord is my real boss, and I shall not want.
He sometimes gives me “peace”, when chaos is all around me.
He gently reminds me to pray and do all things without murmuring and complaining but, I normally don’t listen to Him.
He reminds me that he is my source and not my job. I wish He could prove it in one way or another.
He restores my sanity everyday and it manifest itself the other day by” Life is one damn thing after another.”
Even though I face absurd amounts of e-mails, systemcrashes, unrealistic deadlines, heavy traffic, and a discriminating principal every morning, I still will not stop---for I still think somebody up there “likes” me!
He raises me up invisibly, even when they fail to praise me.When it's all said and done, I'll be working for Him a whole lotLonger and for that, I BLESS HIS NAME!

The Bitch

2006-06-24T13:39:00.000-06:00

The doctor prescribed me Acid mephnamic and I went home without noticing that I had received the wrong drugs. I consulted with my mom and she told me that the druggist must have made a mistake. Iranians are jack of all trades, including my mom; then again I went to my doctor (wasting more time) and to my surprise she told me the same words of my mom :

Me:” Excuse me ma’m, Instead of Acid mephnamic you gave me the wrong prescription (Hematinic) Do these two look similar in any ways?”

Druggist:” Yes, you are right!”

Me:” What if I used all these medics? Don’t you think that you could have hurt me by that?”

The stupid bitch grinned and said:” these ones are 20 cents more expensive than the previous ones!”

Why shouldn’t one apologize when he/she makes a stupid mistake? That’s the least you expect from a human and in this case a druggist; don’t you think so?

Film Genres

2006-06-22T11:02:00.000-06:00

If I want to compare my life in different genres:

My childhood would be:

War movies; since I had always this “battle” with my mom and dad to study more &more&more.I was always the “best” student in our class but from the last!

My adulthood would be:

Fantasy& Supernatural movies; Fantasy since I really had this Thing about our neighborhood girls and supernatural since, I had a deep, instinct feeling on God ;HE was so close, so friendly, so approachable so and so!

My manhood would be:

Dramatic & hopefully Road movies; Dramatic since, I was getting more serious on my life affairs, getting a more realistic character and my life stories involved more intense character development and interaction. I am waiting patiently for my Road movie to happen!

Oh oh! Don’t get me wrong! I am NOT totally discovered,the other half is still covered!

Little Happiness(es)

2006-06-20T07:26:00.000-06:00

Although it was a scorcher yesterday, Yesterday was my day. Things were really different yesterday. People were nicer or maybe I was nicer to people. Does it make any difference?

_The ticket seller when faced with a bill didn’t complain rather, he sounded witty when he said:” Why don’t you go on foot, if you don’t have change?”

_The man in the office offered me to drink a glass of lemonade which isn’t wired by itself unless; you are in an office waiting nervously to see how things move forward.

_The woman in black veil (Chador) praised me on my “capabilities” and told the other guy in the room that” He is the best one so far!” Her comment sent a chill through my bones and I felt myself in heavens. Holy cow! How is that possible?

_The passerby gave me the right address when he was asked about the street without the usual bla bla and most important of all, without misleading me.

You see, it’s not THAT difficult to be a happy person after all.

Iran 0_Angola 1

2006-06-19T00:25:00.000-06:00

As a primary student, when I was about 10, I was a bit fussy on how to do my homework assignment. In case of a trivial mistake on my notebook, I tear the whole page down to start over again. I either did it errorless or had a lot of mistakes in my homework. An absolute black and white school kid!
Let me relate this to our national soccer team and remember that; this is my personal view over the issue:

Now that we lost two games against Mexico and Portugal, I hope we lose the game against Angola, why? I have got reasons:

1. If we win the game against Angola Branko and the whole soccer federation will see this as a “Great Victory” and any radical change is rather impossible there. So be it!

2. We Iranians tend to forget things easily which by itself is “harmful”. In case of winning the game we forget about the deep scar in our hearts so by losing the game against Angola this infection gets deeper and something “radical” must be done.

"National Pride"

2006-06-17T09:18:00.000-06:00

Once again our “national pride” was shattered.
Once again I felt blue after losing against Portugal.
The soccer federation: Go to hell along with Bronco Ivankovic!

Interview;Iranian style

2006-06-09T10:06:00.000-06:00

Interview; Iranian style

For A FEW “critical” jobs the interview is done in a weird, strange manner which is almost different with what is common elsewhere. Let me make this clear for you:

First, they send their special agents to search about the person in advance based on your home address you provided in your CV.They go to one of your neighbors randomly and start enquiring about your history.

A: Enquirer B: Your neighbor

A: What kind of a guy Frank is? Does he pray?

B:”Yes, of course! He is one of the “best” guys we have ever had in our neighborhood for the last ten years.”

A: How about his family? What are THEY like? Are they religious “enough”?

B:”As far as I know them they truly are.

God forbid if they happen to go to the wrong neighbour; that’s the time you wish you weren’t born. If that neighbor gives wrong info on you based on the fight you had with them you are done; you lose half of the chance of getting the job.

If you ever have an argument with your previous principal then, your principal can start putting your personality down in a big way; kiss your ass good bye with the job.

Before the interview you should grow some beard to look like a true religious Muslim and you lose the chance of getting the job if you shave your mustache and beard.

During the interview you really shouldn’t be your self to show them your true color otherwise if you are a qualified person for the job with high skills, you won’t get the job.

If you don’t pray 7 times a day like a “true” Muslim, tell them you do.
If you drink alcoholic drinks, tell them you never do and bite your tongue as a gesture on how “UN Islamic” that is.
If you have antigovernment beliefs, try to cover them all or you won’t get the job.

All these must be accompanied with your qualifications like job experience, etc…

A kind of” Animal Farm” living…

Disclaimer: What ever I mentioned above shouldn’t be generalized to other jobs, only a FEW of them.

JUSTICE?

2006-06-08T05:54:00.000-06:00

JUSTICE?! What a crappy, shitty word when the whole system is based on INJUSTICE! When the society goes rotten, so do the people. Look let me make something clear once and for all; that is I really don’t want to justify my actions and the wrong things I did rather I want to slit my own personality and my society for you all !

When I first started teaching I didn’t think of being a tutor; I even didn’t imagine it just because I thought of it (going to other peoples houses to teach) as belittling myself. When I saw the other tutors I couldn’t help but criticize them inside myself on what they were doing. But the world taught me a good lesson and I was a good student I learnt it so well. Wasn’t I a stupid, naïve, idealist teacher? Sure I was.
I am not anymore. I don’t let the fucking world (read society) treat me the way it wants. I want my rights, the right of having a decent car and living in a comfy place and I do everything to make that happen. Now I hate every word which has something of the word, be it ideal or IST.

I made all those bla bla to tell you what happened to me today:

The principal asked me to come over to his office and I knew already that the shit had already hit the fan but tried to stay calm! He showed me two graded final papers of the students.

“As far as you and I both know these two students weren’t hard working students during the term and now I see both of the passed their final exam; how could it be? Were you their tutors? Did you teach them in their homes? Did you know that it is “against” the law?” he said it all with a rebuking intonation!

“Whoa! I said it inside and went on like: where on earth is this law? Can you show the law to me?”

He said yes but refused to do so just because he thought I didn’t know shit about these “laws.” He was trying to break my self confidence but at least not him!

“Look! You have corrected the grade of these students and have added them up too! How about those who didn’t have money to be your students? Don’t they have the right to pass their exams? You guaranteed their final grades by getting money and teaching them for several sessions? Why didn’t you pass the other failed students who didn’t have money to be your private students? Is that justice?”

“Justice? (I laughed) what justice? Weren’t you the one who came to me last year for marking one of the students up just because the dad of the kid was one of you pals?”

“Me? When? Where?”

“Yeah, YOU were the one who asked this and I accepted it! You were my principal any way!”
“Don’t change the subject!”
“You and I both know that I am one of you best teachers here and you can’t deny that, can you? I know teachers here who relax in their classroom and don’t kill themselves and are under average teachers and because they don’t have any private students you don’t try to make problems for them. I have some private students who pay me directly without the involvement of the school and that has made you angry?”

I know a teacher who is a vendor as well as a teacher but when it comes to filling the list he is really “generous” on letting them pass all and that doesn’t make a commotion anywhere. Now tell me is that justice?

The whole education sucks here! You get this inferiority complex when you see that the grocer of your neighborhood comes to pick up his kid from school with a flashy car but you have to walk!

Little by little I start thinking that people owe me things and I want to get my rights by getting more and more private students without taking this into account that they don’t deserve to pass that level. The whole system is moving toward this motto” let every one who studies passes the level.”

I forgot to mention that those two students were disruptive students at school though, I didn’t have any problem with them but through the words of our principal I understood that one of the kid’s parents had been at school and had had a fight with the principal and that was one of the major reasons as why the principal was picky on that student.

Friday Prayer

2006-05-24T09:44:00.000-06:00

The prayer is finished when some one yelled:”Takbir” [a call for others to say death to this and that country, literally it means Allah is Great.]

Friday prayers (18 years ago)

“Death to the “Great Satan!”
“Death to USSR!”
“Death to England!”
“Death to Israel!”
“Death to Monafeghin(an opposition group in Iraq) and Saddam!”

Friday prayers (10 years ago)

“Death to the “Great Satan!”
“Death to England!”
“Death to Israel!”
“Death to Monafeghin(an opposition group in Iraq) and Saddam!”

Friday prayers (Lat week)

“Death to the “Great Satan!”
“Death to Israel!”

Friday prayers (2 or more years later)

Those who attend this “Namaz e doshmanshekan” (a prayer which make the enemies give up) come; say their prayers and go home and you don’t hear anything but the rhythm of their steps on the ground; you can also see the sign:
“EXIT!”

Custom

2006-05-19T12:34:00.000-06:00

The first time I saw that photo for some reasons I couldn’t believe my eyes:
Firstly, you ain’t in LA.
Secondly, you are in an Islamic Republic!
If someone showed me that photo 10 years ago, I would have thought that the photo didn’t belong to my beloved country but today while sitting on a bench in a park bird watching people I noticed a teenage gal with her boyfriend? Fiancé?
Arm in arm, head over shoulder, necking and making it out, doing all kinds of gymnastic moves on each other.(hey I am getting a bit Iranian to see things in an exaggerated manner)I almost forgot the sweetest part and that was when the guy kissed the girl on her lips in front of other people; there you are!
Now I can believe my eyes more easily. I wish I could take a photo of that scene!

When you look at it you see that the customs change whether you like it or not. For some that can become an act of sacrilege; for some it’s no big deal; while for others it’s called the” violation of social norms.”

One thing is for sure:
The stricter the dress code and obstacles on social behaviors of today’s youth, the more catholic than Pope they turn into!

Teachers Day

2006-05-05T04:53:00.000-06:00

Another teacher’s day. As one of my colleges says” another ridiculous day” Writing needs mood and you aren’t in the “right” mood when you TEACH 12 hours a day where the maximum amount of teaching is considered to be 6 hours per day according to UNESCO.
I am not here to nag, I mean this weblog would have been a “non stop nagging blog” if I was going to complain about the problems. I write this to feel better? I don’t know.

Dear Mr.President:

Instead of talking about the nuclear shit, listen! Just listen!

Teachers’ have other rights which are ignored for years. The nukes are our “undisputable “right when other RIGHTS are bestowed, right?
Teachers aren’t “extra burden” over the government’s shoulder as one of those higher ups has put it.

I hate it to be a tutor in my student’s homes. I definitely know that ask for a tutor so that their final exam grades are guaranteed. Yeah I agree to be a tutor because I am supposed to live here and I would do dish washing if I can’t make my ends meet.

“A decent life, an appropriate social status is my right.” THAT’S my motto.

It’s a pain in my ass to see some uneducated guys bragging about how much they earn and how their organization is granting them this and that. It makes me feel sick.

What answer would you give to your students when they say” we study? So what? Lots of other PHDS, MA degrees are unemployed.”

Second Day:

On teacher’s day the principal gave some nonsense bullshit talks on how teacher’s job is the job of holy prophets and how we are carrying the responsibilities of humans on our shoulders. Nice joke! Ha? Never bother to sympathize with me; I just don’t need it frankly speaking. Then our admin started by saying” We don’t want anything from our government, God would suffice us and HE would listen to us.”

“I do hope God isn’t listening to some music while you are talking to Him.”

I saw some eyebrows rising as I stated this agonistic belief of mine.

Teacher’s Day:

You won’t believe what I am going to say now. I was in the teacher’s lounge when I heard some loud music and a singer singing pop music. I got up to go what is going on. I approached the yard:

About a couple of students were dancing to the tune while the rest (about 400) others were clapping their hands to the tune. Some of these kids were break dancing. I just love this kind of Islamic republic! The adims and the whole staff were just monitoring the students so that no one gets hurt or something in the yard. I would have posted some photos if I wasn’t afraid of my privacy.

Iran,Through Female Eyes

2006-04-24T09:57:00.000-06:00

Here are some of my female students’ emails to me about the current issues we are dealing with:

When I'm writing this note, Iran could complete the cycle of fuel. I know this news causes other countries that they don't agree with our nuclear program, to do actions more strict than before.
I agree with some idea in this article, where it said people in Iran are so nationalist.
However some people believe we should wait for help of foreign, and they tell each other they tired from this system and they know this system can't solve their problems. In the election's time we can see these people are talking about election and they say they never vote. But tomorrow of election's day we will hear in the news that 60% of people vote in recent election! Then other governments think this news is a big lie. But it's true. In fact, our people hope that with election and other ways that they can interfere in politic, maybe they can change some elements in system. They hope yet!
They sure none of the foreign governments come here for save them! They come here just for their benefits. Because during the years our people experience some events that make their mind in this way. One of these experiences is 19 AUG’s overthrow coup de ta (KODETA). When we wanted to free oil from (I don't know in English) "TASARROF"[control] British company, they didn't accept and people could see a big struggle and fight between Mossadeqe and British government. After that when people had gone more ways and they were near to freedom from power politics of Britain and from the dictatorship of king, US government with one overthrow destroyed all wills of people. This memory remained in Iranian's minds. Because of some memories like this, I think they
Never can trust to foreign countries.
Some years ago Mr. KHATAMI president of Iran said "between us and US is a tall wall, the name of this wall is UN-trust wall. Sometimes this wall may crash but it's tall and hard yet!" I think this sentence from him is in people's mind. When we arrive to nuclear program, most of people get too hard-line. They know nuclear energy is their right and when powerful countries have it, why they don't have? When Israel without accepting any protocol has many nuclear sites, why do they give up in front of pressures?
On the other hand politicians in Iran don't like falling in predicament of nuclear program. However Ahmadinejad is too hard-line but the main leaders don't want to have messy and violence in nuclear program. They really want to continue the negotiations that even they accepted Ebrahim Jafari's suggestion for having negotiation in Iraq with US government.
On the other hand, I guess, US don't like to interfere in Iran's problems with military attack. Because war in Iraq cause that face of US in world getting famous as a fighter country, the government that can't solve any problem without war. But both of them (Iran & US) like save their benefits.
You know we have conservative government in Iran & we have neoconservative government in US. I believe all of conservatives are hard-line. All of them have aggressive politic. In many ways our government is like as US government, and I think they are like as mirror for each other. No one can endure own picture when it's too ugly!
I'd like to think next step in Iran is from sober and we should wait for US decision:
Which group from US will come for negotiation? (Nahid)

Second Email:

I think at first about hardliner president: Ahmadinejad who select by 60% of turnout. He began his  presidency the same time with nuclear issue, he  believed Iran's researches and actions about fuel circuit ,nuclear energy would continued ,and hold out on his idea that admittedly is Iranian idea .

He can check with US seditions policy and observations of US policymakers.
In contrast to people and leaders in Iran that are religionist and live with this kind of thoughts that are loyal to revolution, leaders, ideals revolutionary, etc, US policies are threatening and secularism.

They wanted to force all countries to do every things that they like, they also make mischief between Islamic countries, menace them of Iran atomic power, they are showing Iran is threatening for them and other countries.

Within living memory US impair to other nations, so we can see nausea of US in world and in Iran, too. West countries think Iranian people need to freedom and fresh air they want to change people culture and beliefs, if some young people do not like Islamic republic and religion behaviors is not cause to all people do not want this regime and revolution their problem wont solve because their problem is substantial, even themselves do not know what they need? Or what is freedom?

Problems in Iran return to people financial position , if leaders promises is protected by sanctions and rethink about economic plans  and  confront corruption ,it may mean they can be sure there are some body that notice them .

Now every body in Iran want to continue atomic researches and wait for check vis-à-vis  west  expectation ,when we have power for provide our needs ,why we rely to west ? Negotiation deadlock will be until Europeans and US rethink on this issue.

Now each Iranian from many backgrounds have consolidated their idea and thoughts  and  protect   of leader Khamenei ,president and other policymakers .Iran  and Iranian must be stable on their idea.

In response, if each person tries to correct his/her behavior I think society will correct.
Today in my university prepare a 200kg cake for protect of nuclear successes.

Mysterious Land

2006-04-14T13:13:00.000-06:00

Hey we are totally different with the rest of the world. If there is a “yellow cake” we all think the whole world is having a birthday party for US and we ignore the fact that somebody else has bought us the cake; the fact that we only made a bigger cake and have invited the whole world for watching the cake.One by one as you see the candels lighted,they get high flames.Can anyone blow them out?No way!Does this cake buy baby a frock?Noway!We see ourselves the center of universe. C’mon! It’s not YOUR birthday. When this teacher works his ass out to live like a human I really can’t be happy to see the cake.We try to resolve our inferiority complex through some strange bizarre mechanism like bragging on things and covering things up; that’s why we are unknown for ourselves; let alone others who think of this country as a mysterious land and it really is.Take all the examples of these sorts like:”Isfahan is half of the world.” Although it indicates the beauty of Isfahan, it also indicates that no where else you can find these kinds of beauties. We become so hypersensitive about our history without having an eye to the future. We live mostly in the past and in our memories.Then again I am optimistic about the future of this mysterious land…

“Who is gonna cut the cake?to how many pieces?70 millions?Will every one get his/her own share?"

Superman

2006-04-09T12:18:00.000-06:00

There are two organizations that have been ignored for years:
The first is the Ministry of Education& the Ministry of Health.
The first one deals with so called “Knowledge and the soul of peoples;
The other one deals with the physical parts of us.

If these two work together the Nietzsche's Superman might be created;
The superstitious ideas fade away,
Things get better and you live a more Comfy Life .
Shall I come up with more reasons as why these two must be squeezed?

Am I looking at the world with my black& white glasses again?
As an Iranian who tends to “exaggerate” things I think I am afflicted? Infected with this…

Second Wedding

2006-04-08T09:49:00.000-06:00

“What’s for dinner, honey? “
“Abgoosht.”(A kind of traditional Iranian food)
“Go and prepare something else before I have my second marriage!” I said jokingly.
“Oh yeah!? Then I will come to your wedding if you don’t mind! “
“I will make sure to send you an invitation card!”

Is Access Denied?

2006-03-31T05:49:00.000-06:00

What bugs me the most while surfing the net is the blue screen message which goes like this:” Dear surfer, access is denied to the site you are looking for.” The word Dear puts a pain in my ass! You try bypassing the filter by anti_filter sites but damn! Those“anti”filter sites are filtered too! Hey, they are putting more fences on, they are getting way stronger.
Halleluiah, Halleluiah, Halleluiah…

Something inside you is cracking up; the swear button is on and there you go: fuck, shit, etc…Thanks to my “privacy” I am not filtered myself or I wouldn’t have uttered the above mentioned words.

Come to think of it, I can’t help but think that God has stopped talking to us Iranians just because some one up there is monitoring God’s activities and who knows, maybe God is filtered himself/herself otherwise we could hear him/her talk.

You turn on the TV… one word…Crap? Almost.
Hey,never fear:Mrs. Satellite is here:
Shows, ads in a raw, more shows, Gay TV, Sexy video channels, you name it…
Why the hell the internet is almost filtered but you can get a receiver with less than 200$ and WATCH everything? Is this a deal between our government and the people? An unwritten rule that says:” WATCH the gorgeous babes, WATCH the nature, WATCH those so called opposition groups but never use your brain box to see what’s going O.K.? That’s my boy!

Life,Iranian Style,(2)

2006-03-17T12:06:00.000-06:00

For first part, I can say that after revolution in IRAN, of course we have some new rules that politician take them from KHORAN. But I think these rules have been combining with personal ambitions. Sometimes government in the name of Islam prevents from ordinary freedom. I think in this article writer try to show that atmosphere in Iran is too dark (by saying some expression from people that they afraid of saying their names.). But I don't think so.
Whatever people don't have freedom for middle in politic, they have freedom in other things that maybe you think it's against Islam's rules!( Dressing, lyrics, stories).for example 'offside' is the name of new film in Iran about some NONWRITTEN rules that prevent women from going to stadium for watching football match. It's an ordinary subject but government doesn't allow showing this movie in the cinemas. Because this film shows one of the mistakes of government this mistake related with its politics. Not Because of some sense in this film, in this movie we have some women; they don't keep appearance of Islam completely like HEJAB and so on. But we have some movies that they sometimes don't respect some rules of Islam such as forbidden in drink alcohol and so on. Also their subjects are without value for showing (such as SHARLATAN) but they have allowed for showing.
Something in this article is true. Yes, condition after president in international sense got risky. But I believe that government in Iran isn't very important department. Orders come from high level!

Nahid(Female)

Get drunk

2006-03-12T09:07:00.000-06:00

[Video Room]

In one scene there was a guy pouring some beer into a glass with lots of foam on the top.

“How foamy! It must be an original beer.” the kid exclaimed!

“Beer? It’s lemonade! By the way, you don’t need to drink beer to get drunk; a glass of water would does exactly the same job.” ” I said jokingly.

An Iranian Lifestyle

2006-03-10T11:55:00.000-06:00

After reading an article on NY Times Click here to read(by MICHAEL SLACKMAN Published: February 15, 2006) I asked my students to send me their comments on it. Here you can find an email from one of my students. (An engineer) I was in doubt as to whether publish this or not because, I really don’t want to belittle my fellow countrymen but I thought for seconds “In order to move ahead, one HAS To look at himself critically, so let it be.”
I would publish more comments if you would like to know more about Iran and Iranians:

Disclaimer: Publishing this doesn’t necessarily mean that the blogger agrees with all the content; it also doesn’t give the readers an overall view on how all Iranians live; It just shows how an average Iranian lives and thinks:

First of all, the aim of the present version is to clarify some points in New York Times' reportage of an awards ceremony in Tehran.
As far as I got, for the reporter, Lynsey Addario, it has been the first fortune to be in here in Iran. And likely she has been so surprised with the art events in Iran, where she never thought they may have any kind of culture. So, she has got some wrong ideas of the phenomena, qua she has mixed Taqiyah with the facts of Iranians' life.
To abstract the version, I prefer to analyze an Iranian in Iran. Perhaps as I am an Iranian, I can just see the defaults and not any extraordinary characteristic at them. But I try to issue some evidences to make it arguable.
Iranians like a lot to show off and exaggerate whatever they have or fake that they have. "Whatever" could cover a wide range of the things: religion, honors, history, bad situation, good positions, knowledge, villainy, humanity and…
In the roads they have always problems with the traffic codes, they see the other cars as constant obstacles which would be disappeared with blowing in their cars' unusual horns or even worse, for a while they think of being a kind of F1 drivers and then run their un-standard cars so fast and break all the rules while they never used to respect to. In the banks they are always in hurry and challenging with the others to let them be an exception and receive the services out of the queue sooner than the others. In the taxis, during the first 5 minutes, they complain f the mal-culture now a day we are having which expunge humanity from our society, after 5 minutes, they discuss how they have paid the bribes to escape from the impedimenta against their wills, as enrolling in the public universities without passing the exams, to rebuild their houses in the cheapest way how it didn't meet the standards, finding a job while they were not qualified to have it or escaping of any kind of the punishments one can think of; from canceling the disqualification in the university or at work till cutting the taxes or the reducing the amount of the police penalty. There is a lot which could be mentioned, I short it.
The best sentence for them is:
They are so often too excited and acting emotionally or they are trying to shortcut any kinds of the rules.
Encountering the technology could be said that they are the third hand customers of the technology. We buy a lot of things and we don't know why we should buy it. Microwaves oven, strange mobile sets, terrible car audio appliances and so many other things that we don't know why we should buy them are bought in our society.
Sometimes they try to cheat each other to gain more money by taking part in pyramidal marketing.
All above mentioned could be found everywhere in the world, but, as statistics, in here it is catastrophe. Nobody thinks of national heritage in Iran, nobody cares about nature, nobody think of the general situation of the society.
Iran is somewhere that one can become rich easily, without passing the necessary standard processes of enrichment like as working, educating or innovating. It is just enough to find the clue and pay the bribe, after that you will meet the success. In the other hand there are people who work for an age and never find whatever they had planed for their life.
In such a society, we have also a religious government who need to address people to something metaphysic and abstract to scatter their attention to a real life. During the past years we have paid a lot because of the conservative mindset in the top layer of our governments. But, why they persist in their ideas while we are just 60 millions people in the world who think like that? Is it to do something for the country? Is it to do something against the other countries? West charges us government of the terrorist actions, but no evidence has been handed to any international union to prove it. Why? Because there has been really nothing to be handed! They never fight with the others because of believes. They know that if they want to be rested on top they should be clever and more careful in international union.

It is to say that our problem is not this fact that we have not any kinds of individual freedoms in our country; our problem is not lack of the rock bands. These are the effects of something else.
The main subject is that people in Iran like to gain money easily and if sometime the conditions go to be like as a real society, there are many of them who oppose this idea.
During the years government and people have compromised on something; government make them free to do everything that they want; as drugs, black marketing, bribing, blackmailing, tax free commerce or whatever which is normally forbidden in the other society. Instead people should pay attention to the Islamic rules and just mind the appearance.
Sometimes young people oppose the conditions. The reason is that their wills and desires is not the same as what the last generation has accepted. They need just a fresh air. They want to be connected to the other cultures. They don't like religious subjects. It is true. But more than this, they don't know how they should balance everything. It is not a fundamental need. It is a result of the other things. The base is the other thing. Us youth just see that they have not so many beautiful aspects of art, we can't say whatever we want or experience anything. Even a miracle is useless here. We should be grown up in such a way who we can tolerate freedom. The capacitance of freedom is created by exercise and education and our generation is not present.
After all, I agree that there are red lines in the government. I agree that the red line is sharing the new ideas which oppose and challenge the system. But I don't agree that the main worry of the government is the Rock Bands or whatever. System doesn't properly pay attention to life style of people, it is true, but it seems that they let people do whatever they want privately, and, people have accepted it!
The other issue has been nuclear plants in Iran. I didn't get why the reporter has said such an issue besides the Rock music!!!
I think she has been somehow concluding that as Iranian government doesn't agree with rock music or as the life is not as desirable as the west, then they should not have authority to use nuclear energy peacefully.  As an Iranian, I think the west is forcing us to ignore our rights. Nuclear bomb is terrible, but, if they had any evidence of it in here, it had been better to show it to all. It is sure that nobody agrees with nuclear bomb and everybody likes to have more advanced society. I think because of the increasing rate of the oil consumption in our country, we need to have nuclear plant.
Finally, I think more than 60% of the people like the present situation and have based their life in according to it. Somebody makes money easily here and never likes to mess this situation. Somebody because of the situation has enough reason to immigrate abroad and never comes back and such a situation gives them enough reasons not to be regretted of immigration. Somebody likes the religious face of the country and say "even if there are a lots of crimes, we prefer to live somewhere under the name of Islam". Then, it is better to find a solution which merges all the though together and average all the groups. I think individually that it can not be obtained so soon. We need to learn how to have civilization from the schools and be prepared to tolerate freedom.

Hamid

Experience

2006-03-07T12:17:00.000-06:00

Have you ever wondered as why a long bearded guy_ if you get what I mean_ employs a gorgeous lady with her heavy makeup as his salesclerk? There are a number of possibilities:

As a business rule, that kind of “salesclerk” attracts more customers.

The employer wants to employ a “jack of all trades” who does not only business but also …

Have you ever noticed the ads in the shops which read:

“An experienced lady wanted”

I have always wondered as what “experience” connotes?

How about you?

Superstitions

2006-03-05T10:46:00.000-06:00

I got(read confiscated) a bottle of firecrackers (not the one which makes one happy but the one which makes you nuts in its real term) from one of my students by chance. The kid was asking me to give him back the firecrackers when I started the “morality” lesson:

“I know you won’t listen to my request not to use these firecrackers in the street but, PLEASE don’t use any of them when some lady, man, young or old is around. Go a head and use the “Bomb” (read firecracker) in the street but don’t do any harm to anyone.”

“I was told that if you cry for Imam Hussein all your sins will be forgiven. Won’t they?” Hamed asked.

“Imam Hussein didn’t do any harm to any one, did he?”

“You go disturb people by these firecrackers and think by crying over the Imam’s soul things will be forgiven? Wake up and smell the coffee boy.”

That was the first time ever that the lesson turned into the theology one and I didn’t mean to be a clergy in my class. I felt the need though as these days you can see the kids welcoming Charshanbe Souri by making firecrackers (The slang term is called Bomb)

I am sure if we commemorated this nice and beautiful occasion nationally by the government,we wouldn’t witness so much noise pollution and kids burning caused by making the boms by the kids.

PS:I reurned the bottle to the kid as in order for an old habit to die,one has to go deep into the culture to reconstruct the destroyed building once again.

Request Google To Dispaly Norooz Logo

2006-03-01T13:08:00.000-06:00

A great idea I suppose. Click here to request Google to display a Norooz logo.

Stupidity

2006-02-27T12:39:00.000-06:00

Stupidity doesn’t know any limits, does it?

Sometimes solving a problem seems to be a dreadful task but in reality it’s a piece of cake if you look at the right direction. When your mind starts wandering on a problem, it turns into a hell piece of shit that drills your mind thoroughly. Once I am there instead of turning a light I start cursing the darkness in a big way.

Speaking of the right direction,

Once the son asks his father about the difference between boys and girls:

“I couldn’t find any differences.” The son asks.

“Maybe you aren’t looking at the right direction.” My son!

PS: This post was inspired to me after a quarrel on a “problem” with my better half.

Charshanbe Souri

2006-02-26T14:43:00.000-06:00

Charshanbe Souri is around the corner, happy ha? I want to be but I can’t. It seems this nice tradition is distorted because of the lack of cheerfulness.

I was going through the process of teaching the new lesson when I noticed that two of the students entered the class depressed.

“We had to write a “promissory note” to the principal not to bring any sort of firecrackers inside school.”

“All right, go sit down.”

I started once again when I noticed Ali counting some money.

“What on earth are you doing boy?” I called upon him.
He started to shuffle the money in his pocket when he noticed me.

“What money is that?”

“Nothing”

“C’mon, how much is it?”

“About 30$.I got all this by selling firecrackers to other students at school.”

While the students’ attention must be directed to studying and so called education, it seems they think about everything BUT education. I know, I know, I know it’s not difficult to point the finger to the wrongdoers;

A nation can’t be a powerful one unless it tries damn hard to be powerful in all walks of life.

A “good” student can’t be a good one unless he/she tries hard to be a good one in all subjects.

Valentine& Teacher’s pet

2006-02-21T08:18:00.000-06:00

I know Valentine is behind us now but a couple of days ago something happened that I thought would be nice to be shared:

Sitting on the chair looking at my notebook, I noticed the appearance of one of my best 14 year old students (Ali) in front of me. He left a piece of paper on my desk and came back to his seat.

Here as the paper goes:
“Hold 10 roses in your hands and stand opposite the mirror;
You’ll see 11 roses and among them the most beautiful rose in the world is YOU!” “For teacher”

“Whose poem is it?” I asked.
“I swear to God that it’s my own poem. I have said it for YOUR sake” Ali said politely.
“That’s great. A masterpiece to the core! Way to go!”

One of them smart-aleck students turned to his pal” Boy, have I missed anything? Valentine D. (rooze oshaagh) was a couple of days ago; Ali must have gotten Alzheimer or something who wants to be Mr. Frankie’ pet! By the way, isn’t it a little gay to give a Valentine gift to your MALE teacher?”

I was speechless, that was the first time ever I couldn’t act wittily.

I couldn’t have imagined Valentine has penetrated so much and is celebrated in such remote places where most families are uneducated and not rich. It seems love doesn’t know any boundaries, does it?

Privilege

2006-02-18T10:27:00.000-06:00

Overheard in the hallway:
“By the way, why shouldn’t WE have the privilege of starting the 3rd world war?” said the man ironically.

Mirage

2006-02-14T10:50:00.000-06:00

This Life mirage will come to an end someday,

This is Life.

This is Love.

Death is too.
(A “poem” by Frank)

سراب زندگی پایان پذیرد.

زندگی این است.

عشق این است. مرگ هم نیز.

A nagging better half makes one a “poet& a philosopher.”

PS: This is a joke between us and she doesn’t mind it.

Raging Bull(s)

2006-02-11T01:30:00.000-06:00

Ladies and gentlemen,

Here, you are going to watch the last showdown between THE superpower, heavyweight champion bully boxer &THE light weighted infamous boxer; a boxer who had been ignored for years as a “champ” in the region. Although the superpower has almost won his last fight but, at a price. The superpower hasn’t recuperated it’s last fight. His last opponent had challenged the superpower in a big way.

In an uneven fight the superpower knocked his ass down for goods but, at a price; the bruises are still there illuminating.
The well known Sickurity C. (also known as Sick Authority) is going to judge the game. The light weighted boxer doesn’t believe in the fairness of the referee but whether the boxer has been fair to his “fans” has been called into question itself.

The Ringside physician is absent and only God knows what would happen if any of these two hurt.

There is a commotion among the spectators. They are calling names, throwing things to the “fans” of their opponent. When are the they going to learn how to behave decently? Nobody knows.

The lights turn on. You can see the rivals approaching the ring. They are being advised by THE seconds. (A person aside from the coach who gives a boxer assistance or advice between rounds.)

The superpower yells snobbishly challenging the other boxer with “I get ya in the ring, I'll give ya a fuckin' beatin', ya don fuck with me.I'm da boss, I'm da boss, I'm da boss, I'm da boss, I'm da boss... I'm da boss, I'm da boss, I'm da boss, I'm da boss, I'm da boss, I'm da boss.”
The superpower is ignoring the fact that the light weighted boxer knows some Rabbit Punches (An illegal punch to the back of the boxer¹s head or body usually kidneys in that case)
The light weighted boxer knows that this is a no-win situation but,” what the fuck when the spectators have paid the price.” THE light weighted boxer thinks to himself.

Slow Dance

2006-02-10T07:58:00.000-06:00

I wish there was a way to help our cancer stricken people in OUR country just by clicking and sending the same forms to our friends. I wish HELP were a CLICK away!

This poem was written by a terminally ill young girl in a New York
Hospital. It was sent by a medical doctor - Make sure to read what is in the closing statement AFTER THE POEM. SLOW DANCE

Have you ever watched kids On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rainSlapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down.Don't dance so fast. Time is short.The music won't last.

Do you run through each dayOn the fly?When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the reply?When the day is doneDo you lie in your bed With the next hundred choresRunning through your head?You'd better slow downDon't dance so fast.Time is short.The music won't last.

Ever told your child,We'll do it tomorrow?And in your haste, Not see his sorrow?Ever lost touch,Let a good friendship die Cause you never had timeTo call and say,"Hi"You'd better slow down . Don't dance so fast.Time is short. The music won't Last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere You miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day, It is like an unopened gift....Thrown away.

Life is not a race.Do take it slowerHear the musicbefore the song is over.

FORWARDEDE-MAILS ARE TRACKED TO OBTAIN THE TOTAL COUNT.

Dear All: PLEASE pass this mail on to everyone you know - even to those you don't know! It is the request of a special girl whowill soon leave this world due to cancer.This young girl has 6 months left to live, and as her dying wish, she wanted to send a letter telling everyone to live their life to the fullest, since she never will. She'll never make it to prom, graduate from high school, or get married and have a family of her own. By you sending this to as many people as possible,you can give her
And her family a little hope, because with every name that this is sent to,The American Cancer Societywill donate 3 cents per name to her treatment and recovery plan. One guy sent this to 500 people! So I know that we canat least send it to 5 or 6 --- (just think, it could be you one day). It's not even your money, just your time!PLEASE PASS ON AS A LAST REQUEST Dr. Dennis Shields, Professor Department of Developmental and Molecular Biology
1300 Morris Park Avenue Bronx, New York 10461

Why Should Women Work?

2006-02-07T09:31:00.000-06:00

My students aren’t aware of the fact that I “misuse” their emails not only as a class paper but also as a way to give my readers an insight on how an average Iranian man or woman think and live. I have left the emails unedited because I think they needed to remain intact in order to secure the essence of the message:

Mina (Female about 21)

I think that's clear! When a woman has knowledge and ability of doing something and when she can do this work in a best way, why she doesn't do? Women before their gender are human and they absolutely are free to choose their favorites things.
Some men believe that the atmosphere of Job's environment isn't good for women but I think these are us that make this atmosphere. We must learn that we should work with each other without make any problem for each other.
Women try to go to the university and try to learn things and they want to help to society with their jobs. Why they should stand at home when they know all the thing of doing something?
Some men believe that if a woman works, she can't do house chores very well and this is possible when he goes home, he hasn't dinner!!! But I think we should learn that woman didn't come for give us service. They just get married for beginning a life with her husbands that in this life both of them should try to make a good life, good family, good children, and in this life both of them should be relax. So women aren't servants!
I think the society is the same as family; men and women should work with each other and create a good society. Finally when can stop men's working, we can think about stop women!

Mona (Female_22)

There are three main reasons why women work .The first one is there are some jobs which need more attention and delicacy by women. Women are more patient and precise. They have more patience. They can do these jobs better than men, for example sewing, food dressing although some men do these jobs as well. And in other hand there are some jobs that need to strong power that woman can't do them. The second reason is financial Independence. Women think they should depend on men and they can't do everything along. When women work, they earn money so they can become financially independent and they gain self-confidence. Also I think this reason is for when they don't get married. The third reason is life’s situation. Nowadays women need to work to earn money for their lives as men do .Expenditure is high and both men and women for spending their lives need to work. Totally I agree with women's working. But when they have child its better them not to work and take care from their children till their children grow up and become older because children need to their mother's love more than money. When women are in home there are special peace and safety for their husband and children.

Maria (Female 23)

In my idea if every person has an expert knowledge he or she should use from his or her skill. It's no difference between men or women! Especially nowadays that everything is expensive and life is being very hard, both of men and women should work.
Some girls are very anxious for going to the university and they study very hard until they accept in the university. Then they accept in university their parents spend a lot of money for them and they take trouble too, then when they get married their husbands don't allow them to work. In my opinion it's absolutely trouble! Spending a lot of money, pass out time… all of these are wink.
Furthermore experience shows that every woman should has financial independence, because if in the feature she has problem with her husband that result in divorced she can secure herself. It has not any reason that women shouldn't work!

Sara (Female 22)

I think a woman must work. Women can show all of their ability when they work, but if stay at home the limit in cooking, washing, etc. Maybe there be women who do not work and are fain and successful, but were always they happy?
A woman is a social virtual like men and it's necessary that woman be in society. There are some jobs that women can do them better or women are more successful than men such as teacher, nurse. One of reason for women that they want to work is financial independence , it is very bad when a woman need to money or other things she should request of men then if men like are helping her if not ... she does not have any way for her problem. However women work and they receive salary and it help to family. Nowadays when men get married they promise to their wife that do not prevent about work and continue education at all , but after a short period they forget all promises and do not allow women work they afraid of women position in society because we can see women try to do all job without mistake because they do not want to be any excuse .But this depend to selves that want to work or not ( e.g. one of my friend believe it is not important that a woman can work after graduated .) it is good people continue education for knowledge but if can use their study at work and life it is better.

Animal Farm

2006-02-06T12:09:00.000-06:00

I have to say that the word revolution really and frankly makes me sick. Have I ever told you that I hate the alphabet R the most?The reason is the story of animal farm by George Orwell.

Radical,uproot,reveloution,eradicate,obliterate have R in them.

It seems that THE never ending fire among nations will never stop extinguishing.

The Paranoid Teacher

2006-02-03T07:18:00.000-06:00

You name it .all kinds of sexual connotations are used in some of my classes as the “need” arises and urges the teacher to do so as a classroom “technique” to cool things off. When something as simple as hitting a ball to the classroom window happens, the class tends to go nefarious on making norch_norch sounds all the way to get a laugh out of nothing while at the same time drive their teacher nuts.
The teacher was correctly diagnosed having a “moderate” paranoia according to This.
Here is a teacher who becomes hyperalert to the student’s moves; a teacher who can’t help but use some indirect sexual connotation(s) to pretend that he is neither angry nor minds an off color joke and yeah! He appreciates and enjoys it too; A teacher who is carefree about the verbal hygiene in his classroom.
Upon hearing norch norch sound once I said” Are you enjoying flossing the last pieces of meat (read something else) in your mouth?”

Did they stop laughing for moments? “Of course nope.”

They somehow liked the joke and the proof is that they were laughing wholeheartedly with their faces that had turned red; and the class went on more smoothly than before. My colleagues warn me not to go sexual in case like that.What the hell when it works.ha?

“Didn’t I change your seat to stop you chatting with your pals?”

“But,mista! It ain’t my fault! HE (his buddy) is the one who is letting me in chatting.”

“Do you always give green lights to others when you are asked to?”
“Did I mean anything gayish?”
I might so!

The class was bursting in laugh for moments…

Freedom of...?

2006-01-30T13:12:00.000-06:00

Freedom of....?Click here to watch:

A+Paper!

2006-01-27T04:31:00.000-06:00

A class was told to write a short story in as few words as possible.
The instructions were that the story had to contain the following:

Religion
Sex
Mystery

Below is the only A+ paper in the entire class.

"Good God, I'm pregnant; I wonder who did it."

Warning Beep!

2006-01-22T08:15:00.000-06:00

(Language School)

Iran (25) is one of my female serious cheerful looking girl in my class. Although I had warned her to turn her phone off during the class time she seemed to be like forget about the teacher’s words type because, in the last 5 minutes before the class was finished she started dialing numbers without paying much attention to my forewarnings.

In one of my classes she started her old habit of dialing while I was assigning the student’s homework for the following sessions when her mobile set went beep…beep…beep…

So far boring stuff? Ha? You ain’t heard anything yet!

As a general rule my students had all agreed to turn their cellular phones off before entering the class; in case the teacher heard a ringing phone, THAT student had to buy a box of chocolate or candy for her classmates. The point was that one of my students had bought a box of chocolate in the past few weeks. When beeping was heard, I could see Iran’s face turning red. We all started laughing out loud only two minutes before the class ended.

I was happy because not only the class was finished in a positive atmosphere but also I am not going to have anything before THAT class. I was looking at her like a professional fortuneteller; I was like:” wasn’t I a know-it-all when I warned you on that?

Isn’t it interesting how the meaning of things changes based on some new “rules”?

Virginity

2006-01-20T13:41:00.000-06:00

Location (Language School with grown ups)

The break time was over and the students were getting back to their class. I started the lesson when one of my female students came in with her mouth full of candy and she was laughing too. When I asked her the reason she said:” One of the women from another class had gotten married and she had brought some candies for her friends.

“One of the WOMEN got married?!”

(With her full mouth)”No….I mean one of the girls…At first, she was a girl then after marriage she BECAME a woman!”
Was she saying that she lost her virginity or that's what the teacher thought she meant?

There was cold sweat all over my body!

I only gave her a cold smile…
Other guys were giggling…
Other girls were carrying a big smile on their faces...

Skepticism

2006-01-18T10:33:00.000-06:00

I usually don’t like to write posts about my routines but this case is a unique case which only a good “shrink” might help to cure it. By the way, are there any good shrinks in the whole world?! I wonder.

As a private tutor I was asked to teach to one of my students whose English wasn’t that good. I accepted the offer and went to the boy’s house for nine sessions and a night exactly before the last session the boy’s mother had given a call to the language school I teach and had asked the secretary there to let me know that they had canceled the last class. The point was that they hadn’t paid me until then though, we had made our deal already.
The problem as it walks through stream of consciousness:

“I was cheated again. Holy fuck! What a stupid teacher I am to trust them! This isn’t the first time you were cheated. Why weren’t I more direct on getting the money in advance? Why the hell do you have this Achilles heel to avoid directness? Why aren’t you more direct?”
I started criticizing myself in a big way. The boy’s parents had left their number in the language school because as an absent minded teacher I had forgotten to get their phone numbers in cases like this. I gave a call to their house and after greeting before I started speaking the boy’s mother said that due to taking a trip somewhere they would be grateful if I could change the schedule to go there earlier.
Thank God I didn’t say anything wrong to make myself ashamed of my own words. I was ready to tell her” No problem if you want to cancel the class but, when are you going to come to school to settle the money affairs down?”
When something goes wrong, I put the fault on myself and start bitching and calling myself names until I order myself to” Shut up, Shut up, Shut up…”

An Act Of Taboo?

2006-01-17T08:36:00.000-06:00

The other day in the language school I teach (grown ups) one of my students_as the lesson was working its way_ asked me if he can tell a joke and I gave him the go ahead to add some "spice “to the air. Though it might sound a bit "taboo", I just pass it to you to be the judge....Frank

A man gives a call home and asks his daughter where her mother is. The girl says that she is in the bedroom with the uncle. The man gets furious and says:” Go and tell them I am coming."
On his way home the man gives another call home to see what happened and his daughter says that her mother got so agitated that she fell off the stairs and broke her neck; the uncle got so nervous that she threw himself out of the window into the river!
"Into the river?" the man said.
"But, there isn't a river around MY place."
"Sorry, I must have gotten the wrong number."

No girls laughed but me.I praised the guy’s joke.

Format c: s/q

2006-01-13T11:51:00.000-06:00

The snowflakes are all over the place and you can see the birds on the sides of the road looking for bits of bread. This post was “inspired” to me along the “White Mile.”

A new version of WINDOWS must be installed. The whole hard drive (read Iran) needs to be formatted. We have to install an anti virus too. It’s a must you know. Remember! You can’t trust the “foreign” anti virus companies as they might have “spy wares” in them.

A new Overman must be born.

Is it personal?

2006-01-08T12:34:00.000-06:00

Some thoughts popped in my mind after reading click This:

I do take it as a personal insult when some student of mine stares at me and grins;when being asked why? He says:” I just look at you and can’t help laughing.” I never ever think I deserve it and have tried hard to control my behavior but,classroom management is a two way street and sometimes three way street if you include the mismanagement from the principal point of view.when 15 out of 30 students skip their classes without being punished mismanagement does happen whether you like it or not.You can behave decently toward students as I do my best to be a “decent” teacher but,sometimes I just can’t.
I AM looking for more peace and intimacy and connection with my students but when I ask our “Nazem”(mentor) if he could help me to deal better with this class he is like” hahaha,you are over? How soon!”(Kam avordi?)
Most of my teaching in this so called”class” is discipline management and dealing with the students behavior than teaching.The asshole principal knows about this but, he is carefree.That's a good suggestion to roll things off your back but….
When I repeat something as simple as taking turns to speak some students seem to be completely ignorant of the fact and the rules I have set.It gets on my nerves and little by little I become hypersensitive and act unconsciously like a maniac just like Jack Nickelson in “Shining” (God bless Kubric’s Soul)

Winter

2006-01-01T09:25:00.000-06:00

Have you ever felt sympathetic with a season?
Winter is my sympathized season and though it might sounds strange to you but, to me there are stories, feelings and a live soul behind it.
Here is one of my childhood memories:
The little white stars are falling and Frank is standing in the middle of the school yard. The students are all in their classes but, I am not. I am standing all alone, by myself, in there, looking at the sky as the snow is falling down. I have always wanted to fly and to see myself flying has always been a permanent part of my dreams.
I remember the time when some school boys were chasing me in order to beat me and boy! They were so close and right there through a magical God given power I started flying like never before. I was in the air flying, like birds. Their wide opened eyes were a message of happiness to me as they didn’t catch me. They were standing there with amazement …Did I feel happy in my dream!
Back to the story:
I was looking at the sky and the more I looked at the little white stars, the closer I got to THAT feeling of flying that has engulfed me in my entire life. WOW! I was happy as hell. I didn’t hear the sound of our principal shouting and cursing and I didn’t hear him approaching me and dragging me to our class.

The school bell rang and we all were shuffling through the doors to leave school. It was such a relief to get away from school. It wasn’t a nice place after all! The worst moment of my life has been wasted in schools and here I am as an Iranian teacher!
The white asphalt was a place of fun. No places like Dizin then so, we all went to the mountains and hills around the house to make snowman and to play snowball. I never forget the time when a group of ten kids sat behind each other holding each other tightly not to turn upside down on a downhill and there you go …………
The first snow_ no matter when_ is always inspiring to me and a playback to revive the memories of my childhood but, we haven’t had any snow yet. So those who are reading this:
Keep your fingers crossed; let’s all pray together:
Oh! Lord! Let the snow flow on this part of Earth, the Middle East,Iran. (I am not sure if God knows where Iran is like some Americans and that’s why I gave you the address)
Be gentler to us! You the Almighty!
Amen!

Know it all

2005-12-30T10:10:00.000-06:00

Why do some people tend to act as “know it all?”
Today, first thing in the morning after reading about the news of sending and receiving emails (Yahoo mail) through one’s cellular phones, I let our administrator know about this and he is like:
You aren’t up-to-date man! It’s NOT something new. You should only pay 10$ to activate the service and all the bla bla bla!
Sometimes, he is a real pain in the you know where…

If

2005-12-25T09:12:00.000-06:00

Location: Language School
Students: Grown ups (5 girls, 5 boys)
Grammar Focus: If clause

Me: If I become the president…….
Who wants to talk about the consequences? Any volunteers?
A 25 year old university student with a grin on his face speaking mockingly: If I become the president I will “wipe off” Israel from the map of the world.
I started laughing out loud, so did the rest!
A 50 year old guy: If I become the president, I will give 500$ to every Iranian if they accept me as their president. Another laughter followed then.

A 25 year old girl volunteered to change the subject and I gave her the go ahead.

If I buy a dog,
Another 25 year old girl: If I buy a dog, I might take a walk with the dog.
I started writing the sentence on the board:
If I buy a dog, I might take a walk with ….I turned to her and said” take a walk with Him or Her?”
Others started laughing and she continued” A HIM is better!”
Me: Don’t you think that there are better choices than a dog?
Right there one of the guys said” she is a dangerous girl ’cause she thinks of the males as dogs.”
Me: I really couldn’t help laughing and said:” If you think of yourself as a dog you might get offended and think of her comment as an attack to the male species otherwise that can be considered as an ordinary comment. Right?
The whole class was bursting in laugh for minutes as all these happened within 5 minutes.
I don’t wonder why” Laughter is considered to be the best medicine.”

Authority&A Broken self esteem

2005-12-22T22:29:00.000-06:00

How can you fix a damaged self esteem? Let me tell you how I did it.

“Mr. Frankie! YOUR class is one of those classes in which you don’t have much control over. The kids aren’t as well behaved in your class as they are in Mr.X class because Mr. X sometimes gives us “good” talking-tos. You just don’t.” One of my students said to me in person.

(Inside my head) How come? I can’t believe my ears! After years of teaching I had thought of myself as an assertive teacher whom no one could dare to challenge! And now my heart was fatigued with anger and dissatisfaction with myself.
Unconsciously, I deiced to give them a good lesson they never forget to fix this self esteem.
As I entered the same class in the following day one of the students in the back rows made a sound which I took it as an “insult” Although, he might not have thought of it as an” insult.” I was LOOKING for the wrong action by the WRONG student in the WRONG time to establish myself and my authority again. They had too learn their lesson by hook or crook!
Though I am not a fan of physical punishment but, sometimes I think that’s THE only way which brings discipline into the classroom and works however, I truly believe if you don’t know how to use the weapon it backfires. I ordered him to come closer and I slapped him on the face and I was careful not to hurt him too not because I felt pity for him but I was afraid of the consequences. The class was silent for moments; then I sat back and enjoyed the whole class. God is the only one who knows how much this class has caused my brain cells to commit suicide and I think he deserved it. I had used almost every trick in my bag with this class already. I am wondering as how classroom management is established in other countries?

Moral of the Story?

Speak up and establish your authority as a bully quickly. This immediately eliminates any misunderstanding about you not being in control of your class. Staying there in times of acting up make them understand they can walk over your shoulder for breakfast, lunch and dinner. .

Sex_Obsessed Kids

2005-12-17T04:31:00.000-06:00

Location (Public School)
Level (Junior High School, Kids between 14_15)

As I entered the classroom I noticed a sentence on the blackboard:
"Ali kicked his ass good-bye for goods." I thought to myself that something awful must have had happened to Ali but, what could it be?
The classroom bell rang and the students rushed out to leave their cage immediately. I was happier than my students. Why? It’s just one of those classes which is hard to deal with.
I saw Ali down the hallway waiting for me. Hey Ali! How you doing boy? "It couldn’t be worse." He said. Ali was one of those kids who at first encounter you get an impression of a nice, quiet and shy kid. He is a bit chubby with his always smiling face.
"Why were you absent today"? I said. "I was kind of busy."
"What business?" I said." Actually, my parents have decided to change my school for some reasons." what reasons?" I insisted. (I know this kind of relationship is being considered as putting one’s nose in other people’s affairs but, these kinds of relationships are quite normal here.)
"Some of my friends and I were going to pick up a girl on the weekend to have some "fun" so, I stole about 500$ from my father and now my daddy has gotten wind of it and has decided to send me to a Private school." He said.
I really couldn’t believe my ears!
"Picking up a girl? YOU?”I said.
“A private school?" I said it with lots of exclamation marks in my head!
"Halalam Kon"(Forgive me Mr. Frankie) He said.
Kid’s minds are occupied with having a girlfriend to be proud of and Instead of studying and planning for their future_ with these undefined relationship among boys and girls_ some become one track mind kids with sex on the top of their priorities. The whole energy and youth is wasted over having sex and relationship with a girl. Where the hell are we all going to? A black hole?

The poor parents think private schools are much different with public schools. Yeah! They sure are different not in terms of education but, in the amount of money they receive from the parents.
He was carrying a notebook and he asked his teacher to write a sentence or two to be kept as a memento for him. He asked me to write something in his notebook. In English, I wrote "Lots of luck."

To Sleep In The Classroom?!

2005-12-12T06:28:00.000-06:00

I was called by the principal to go to his office. I already knew it’s another complaint toward me by the “nice” parents who think they have EVERY right to believe the bullshits the kids convey them.

The principal: Mr. Frankie? I want to ask you a question which I hope you don’t mind?

Me: Sure, Go ahead!

The principal: The other day one of the parents gave me a call to let me know that somehow…I don’t know how to put this! She was saying that you happen to SLEEP in the classroom! Is that true?

Me: Said who?! Whoever he/she was, he/she can go fuck himself/herself! I said it exasperatingly! Remember the last time you talked to me on being less “assertive” in the classroom because some students might go under stress and that might “damage” their left hemispheres therefore, it might impede their “learning” ability? Do you remember that I agreed without any justification of my actions? Now that parent has to face to face this with you and me and apologize if he/she can’t prove his claim! I really can’t imagine myself to sleep while teaching and working in the classroom!

Principal (a bit shocked after the “rude” comment) Yeah! He/she must apologize if they are wrong!

Me (inside speaking): Being assertive sometimes works if he is your principal too; let alone in other situations and with kids!

Teachers are scrutinized for almost every word, action, they say and do and even their way of dressing is being questioned sometime! Ahmadinejad’s government seems not to pay any attention to teachers just like the rest. Polluticians (pollution+ politicians) seem to be the same everywhere no matter where they are. There are no independent unions to support teacher’s rights in Iran. I had almost forgotten that I am a human first, then a teacher!

What am I talking about? ”Human rights”?! What a fucking funny word!

Utopia

2005-12-08T09:47:00.000-06:00

This post is dedicated to all those reporters and other people who lost their lives on C-130 transport plane this Tuesday. Click Here to read:

Times have changed. The dominant role of religion in society is Diminishing. Human lives& rights are worthy. Education has the final word in everything. People don’t think that the plane crash was an “Act of God.” Those higher-ups who are responsible for this and other similar plane crashes in the past few years resign because of their inefficiency.

That Would Be A Day!

Frank

2005-12-06T04:52:00.000-06:00

These thirteen year old kids!
To use the class time more suitably, I ask some of the top students to go over the other students’ homework. Except a couple of students, the rest seemed to have done their job well.
As I was going to go through the lesson one student came to me and while his head was down_he wasn’t looking me at the eyes_ he said that “Mr. Frankie I haven’t done my homework!”
I turned to his classmate” monitor” (Sar grooh) and said:” Why didn’t you go over his homework? Did you misuse your power as a monitor?

Monitor: He came to me and asked me if it was possible not to mention his name to you as someone who hasn’t done the homework and NOW he has came to you to let you know about this!! He HIMSELF asked me not to inform you about this time and let the sleeping DOG lie! He said it angrily.

I turned to the student and said:” Why did you ever betray your monitor who is your friend as well? Why did you tell me about that? Why didn’t you keep the secret? Weren’t YOU the one who asked him to keep this as a secret?

I turned to his “monitor” and said:” You betrayed me boy! I trusted you! You misused that trust! But since I value honesty and frankness too much, I let it go this time!

Before you turn into a “devil” grownup, since your soul is without dirt you still have your right angel beside you who monitors everything you do and talks to you!
When you become a grownup little by little the left angel rules over and you aren’t as Frank as before!
Ah, To be a kid again!