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Thursday, December 01, 2005

Crack_up

Fears! Constant fears on how dark and gloomy my future might be!
Resent! Constantly from unknown sources!
I only live once so, why shouldn’t I fulfill the unfulfilled wishes in me? Why do I sometimes get the cold feet doing things?
How can I inject more enthusiasm in myself? Empower myself more? Where should I hang myself to in order to get more energy?
God, Myself or What?
I am all left alone by myself on this lonely planet.
Gimme hope, wish me luck!
Fuck!
I am drained…

14 Comments:

Anonymous Farzad said...

Nice piece Frank, but like I said B4, get out man. Canada baby, Vancouver...
Think about B4 you hang yourself!

Check this link:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/4306936.stm

3:41 PM  
Blogger Frank said...

Farzad:)
I have a long way to go before I "hang" myself dear.There are lots of things which need to be fulfilled,MA degree and others things.I just get bad feelings sometime .Thats all!

4:46 AM  
Blogger Kimia said...

I'm sure that now you are in better moode than the time you wrote it :) It's true that life is short and once, but it doesn't mean that you have to fulfill all your unfulfilled wishes. You just can make it better buddy :) just make sure that you have been a good guy.
Think about activities which gives you energy. Plan to do some sports weekly not when ever you feel like to do. Try to plan your future like in one year, even if you think it's overestimating, then line your road to catch the goal. I believe that even if you don't catch the goal you get closer than when you don't plan anything just walking. You are not the only one who is alone in this planet; all of us. So be strong and move on. Your future is not going to be gloomy and dark unless you want it so. I'm not agree with Farzad, It is definitely a good experience but don't just runaway,"har ja beri aasemoon hamin range".
by the way, take some new music. Call an old friend :)
I'm not preaching, I'm on the same project :)
Break a leg.

12:38 PM  
Anonymous Farzad said...

Kimia,
you’re just generalizing the life when you say “harjaa keh beri aasemoon hamin rangeh”. That’s a very passive way of thinking! … One dimensional, all the way!
Frank is an English teacher. His wife is also an educated woman who speaks the language. There are not many opportunities in Iran for anybody let alone these guys. The country is not functioning by any means you wanna look at it. How can you compare Iran with the rest of the civilized world? How do you define that logic?
Yes the color of the sky is the same wherever you go, but under Iran’s sky, there is a severe unemployment for people. Young men and women are getting hanged in middle of the street. There is no equality for women in general. People are suffering in any way shape or form you want to look at it.
Frank is better off living somewhere else beside Iran. It’s a fact. There are millions of Iranians who immigrated to another country and end up making a better life for themselves and their families.
He doesn’t need to exercise. He’s running around all day long standing on his feet teaching a bunch of idiots how to speak English and then some. He’s an excellent swimmer who hasn’t seen the water yet.
When I offered him to leave Iran and come to Canada is because there are many things out here for him to pursue and make a better and happier life for himself and his family… I didn’t tell him to runaway!
Life is not an experience darling. Life is what you make it!

1:18 PM  
Blogger Kimia said...

:) your answer left me wordless.
I'm not disagree with you while I don't believe that the only way is going out of the country, I know people living happily in Iran and It is so possible. Some people may not ever find a chance to migrate. I also add that here has its own gloomy days and future even for brilliant people. I always think that I don't want to come back to Iran but when I think that my children would be far away from my culture and grow up with completely different values from me, It hurts me, and lots of other things that might be small to mention but big to hurt.

2:37 PM  
Blogger Aydin said...

I don’t want to agree or disagree with any of you two, but just want to share my own experience. I left Iran and came to the US three years ago, and yes there are plenty of opportunities for me here: studying, working, etc. which I appreciate and try my best to make the most out of them, but, having lived under various cultures has brought me to the conclusion that happiness comes from within oneself, not from the outside world. When we migrate to another country, the outside environment and the people around us change, but we are still the same person. We still carry with us the same fundamental aspects of our personality, the same fears, and the same passions. Yes, people don’t stay the same throughout their lives, but changing one’s attitudes and personality requires a strong will, and hope, which can be sparked from inside, not outside.

12:23 AM  
Blogger Frank said...

Dear Friends:)
You all have a point in your comments.
Farzad has a point when he says there are generally more opportunities outside Iran for me and my family because Farzad see the things from an "outer" viewpoint.(the opportunities,etc...)
Kimia has a point too because she tends to see the things "inwardly".She sees and judges things based on her feelings and her might be childeren and that's why" the sky looks the same no matter where you are".
At the same time,Aydin is somehow like Kimia regarding feelings which need to be changed from within.
What I have learnt from you all:
1.When your environment changes into a better environment whether it be living in a more civilized country,a different job with more money ,etc... THINGS change in you certainly !
2.In order to live a "happy" life one needs to change his/her attitudes from within.

3.Finally,Number 1 and number 2 are the wings of the plane of "happiness" .
Are there any other wings I havent thought about;)

8:12 AM  
Blogger Arsh said...

Hey cheer up, no worries, once in a while everyone feels like this. It comes and goes.
Good luck on everything you're going through. NO hanging yourself though.:)

2:34 PM  
Anonymous me said...

In blue mood eh?! come on, cheer up, I bet it's in part the bad weather that holds U down ;)
Try the smile therapy. . . I bet it will work :)

7:12 AM  
Blogger Frank said...

Arsh:
I will do anything but "hanging" myself or maybe I do but not yet dear!;)

me:
Hope you settle down as soon as possible dear!
Bad weather isn't number one but, I have already listened to your advice because I AM a "Funny."or maybe that's what I think about myself:)

7:48 AM  
Blogger Nyx said...

I believe aydin is right. If the change isn't from within, you'll end up feeling the same way, no matter where you are. Even in the "free" world, you can feel trapped.
On the other hand, if you want to get out of there - maybe you'll have to, to be able to change. (it is often our thoughts that are the biggest obtacles).

1:24 PM  
Blogger EdWonk said...

Hi Frank. Welcome to the EduSphere! I've made a post announcing your place. Maybe you'll get a few more new readers.

I've been an admirer of Iranian culture and history for some time.

Keep up the good work!

12:00 AM  
Blogger Dr O2 said...

A transient phase almost everyone experiences from time to time. I have had loads of such periods but as I watch closely I C I've got much to live for :-) might not ever be able to fulfil my dreams but surely will move towards them till the last second.

P.S: the number of comments here a good indication U ain't at all alone in this planet man ;-)

12:34 AM  
Blogger Frank said...

Nyx:
Yeah! you are your own worst enemy if you dont THINK!

EdWonk:
Thank you very much for the post! I will add your link to mines too!

Dr.O2:
Thanks Doc!Your words relieved me abit! you are right when you say we are all in the same boat!

4:50 AM  

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